Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3)

The Meeting

Where I have to introduce one of my best friends to the vampire living in my fucking panty and try not get the himbo baby vamp to accidentally tell Trisha that he is a vampire.

I'm just glad she walked in on him making a coconut water slushie and not cracking open a fresh gutter rat.

~~~~~

I gave a half-hearted wave to Henry as I headed out the front door. I was more than nervous, I honestly didn't want to take Trisha to meet Jake. As much as I liked the guy, he was a himbo and the last thing I wanted for him to do was accidentally tell Trisha he was a vampire. I could only imagine what she would do with that. Lock us both up in a fucking mental institution and I couldn't even blame her. It was insane. If Jake wasn't super strong, had super healing, or had fucking fangs, I would have thought he needed to be in an institution as well.

Trisha stood outside the building, her arms crossed over her chest, her face pinched tightly. She looked decidedly unimpressed, as if she were questioning my sanity. I winced at that, looking at the ground. "Well?" The word snapped out of Trisha and I let out a sigh.

"Let's just get this over with." I muttered it out as I turned and headed towards the bus stop.

"I have my car, Sammi. We will take that." At Trish's words I made a face. I had wanted to have a little bit of extra time to think about what I was going to say, how I was going to explain everything without mentioning vampires at all. However I turned around and followed her regardless, what Trisha wanted it was best to give her. Especially about something like this. I knew if I fought her on this I would get no peace, just like with Sasha and Trisha, I would be at the end of her wild and chaotic fury.

We both got into her car and I buckled up before I sighed. "It's not a big deal-"

"Not a big de- Sammi! You don't know this guy! He could be a murderer for all you know!" Her voice pitched upwards in her anger and she pulled the car out of the spot. "I would expect that type of behaviour from Ethel because she is so damn naive but you? Hunting for Bigfoot aside, you are smarter than bringing a strange man into your one bedroom apartment without telling anyone!" There was a heavy reprimand to her voice that I couldn't even logically disagree with. Logically I knew she was right, it was stupid to bring a strange, unknown man into your home and keep him in your pantry but the stupid illogical part of me was enthralled by cute, golden retriever type, surfer vampire who gave incredible hugs and felt incredibly defensive about it all.

"I mean Ethel kinda did the same thing." If meeting a guy and marrying him within what I believed to be a month was pretty damn insane, more insane than what I had done. It wasn't like I was jumping on the marriage boat with a guy I didn't even know.

"Me being upset with you doesn't mean I'm no longer upset with Ethel. She's fucking insane and when she gets home she is going to get it but you weren't supposed to follow in those footsteps, Sam! You were supposed to stay sane with me so we could mock their insane stupidity." She moved down the streets rather quickly. "You weren't supposed supposed to join them! That's fucking stupid!" She waved her hand towards me almost angrily. "Let's just all jump on the crazy train and ride it all the way to insane city because that is the fun thing to do!" The sarcasm was burning as it came out of her and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her.

I looked out the window to watched the buildings going by as we grew closer to my apartment building. I didn't like the thought that I was treading down the insane route. I knew that it wasn't normal to have a vampire living in my pantry, I knew that it wasn't normal to bring a strange man into my apartment, but I didn't think I was insane for it. Ethel marrying a strange man was insane, Sasha getting engaged to someone we didn't know was insane. Me helping out a down on his luck vampire wasn't entirely insane.