The Secret Muse (#1)

Chapter 42

I felt the sickening feeling as soon as we were back in Florence. I thought I already succeeded in my plan to keep him away until Easter yet here we are, back in the palazzo de Medici.

Lucrezia suddenly became ill and has specifically asked for Giuliano's presence. She would not see me so I was left out of her chambers. I decided to wait by the corridor, away from her room as I wait for news.

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming my way. Lorenzo walks toward me with a smile. "Forgive me, I would have given you more time if it was not for my mother's health." He began as his hands are on his back.

"Your mother's health is of importance. I am more than willing to go back with him if she needs him." I said as I force a smile on my face.

He stared at me for a few seconds before responding. "I can see your disappointment." Caught in the act, I decided to look away in shame. "No, please. I know it must have been frustrating. Giuliano has mentioned you were supposed to get married upon receiving my letter."

Looking back at him, I nodded in response. "It was not planned, but we can get married anytime." I lied. I'm truly disappointed not because we didn't marry right away but because we are back in Florence ahead of time. Now I'm back in fearing for Giuliano's safety and I could not even tell anyone but Botticelli.

"If you say so. Meanwhile, Sandro is at the studio. It's best to start posing for the painting your fiancé has commissioned."

I have completely forgotten about the painting. I was so engrossed in keeping Giuliano away.

Lorenzo walked with me as we head to the studio. Once inside, Botticelli has already prepared his equipment and a chair is situated in front of him. When I sat down, Lorenzo began to speak. "I insist that you be painted with this." He showed me a gold necklace with a Roman engraved gem.

He went behind me and places the necklace around my neck. "It is my gift to you, as you will soon be a part of the family." He continued.

Upon his statement, I instantly look over at Botticelli who has been avoiding my eyes. "Thank you, Lorenzo," I said, as Lorenzo stood next to Botticelli.

"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me. I need to attend to some business." With one last smile, he left the room.

Neither one of us decided to talk. I feel uncomfortable. Now that I have realized my love for Giuliano, I'm still certain of my feelings for him but could it be possible to love two men at the same time?

"I heard you and Giuliano went to Pisa." He said while his eyes are still on the panel.

I felt a pang on my chest upon realizing he hasn't glanced at me once since I came in. Not wanting to say anything, I decided to focus on something else as I answer. "Yes, we did."

"Judging by how early you came home, I can only assume that you were not successful." He said impassively.

Since my pregnancy, he has treated me differently. I'm disappointed but I can never expect him to behave toward me the same way before any of this happened. My eyes began to well but I muster every courage in my being to hold it in.

"I do not know what to do. I wanted to save him and I thought I was succeeding until today."

"Then we must do whatever we can tomorrow."

I was not able to bring myself to sleep last night. Today could be Giuliano's last day. It all depends on me and Botticelli. I feel sick to my stomach. My anxiety is slowly eating the best of me and I could not do anything.

My stomach began to ache. Clutching my belly, I began to sit by the bed in pain. No longer sure if it's the anxiety that makes my stomach aching or my baby. Even so, I began to cry.