『Close』▷ hajeongwoo。

①⑧ e i g h t e e n

What was the difference between fantasy and reality?

The thing about fiction was that it always made sense— too much, even. Reality didn't.

But somehow, as those pale fingers grazed his own, lightly tugging at his tan digits and slowly stroking them like they were the most precious treasure of all— it was reality and it made sense.

How had he not noticed the way that those dark eyes gazed so lovingly at him? How had he not felt the obvious feelings that were all directed to him? For what were the days that they held hands? For what were the times they embraced each other and blatantly showed their love?

He couldn't believe that reality seemed to make so much sense right now. It was always fantasy to him, living in a world of fiction and just imagining the what if's, barely clinging into the hopes of it turning into reality. Or had he, unknowingly, already given up? Perhaps he had already stopped hoping while saying that he wasn't giving in yet.

Jeongwoo lamented for all the nights he had spent crying. If he had just confessed, not of that would have happened. And to think that Haruto had fallen in love with him first, too.

He wanted to cry, but the smile on his lover's face told him not to.

What was he so afraid of?

The world?

Hah.

In the first place, this man was more important than the whole Earth. If given a chance to choose, he would unhesitatingly pick Haruto. It was selfish, for sure; but the whole world included himself. He was willing to give up everything for this one person.

And Haruto was, too.

"What's wrong?" murmured Haruto, his low voice sending pleasant goosebumps on Jeongwoo's skin. "Why do you look like you're about to cry?"

"I'm not, you idiot," Jeongwoo retorted.

Haruto chuckled, looking down at their joined hands. He didn't know that two pairs of hands could make such a beautiful sight.

"This isn't a dream, isn't it?"

"What's that? You're so sappy, Jeongwoo."

"I'm always sappy," the Korean mumbled. "I even dream of you sometimes. That's how mushy I am."

They fell into a comfortable silence after that. Just them, alone together, hands touching each other. A perfect fairy tale scene, Jeongwoo would say.

No nervous heartbeats, no blushing faces nor lies to mask these things.

Just them, comfortable and happy and honest. They say that trust and honesty was the most important in a relationship and Jeongwoo had become a firm believer of that saying after being lied to by Haruto so many times— who in the world says 'I love you' then follows it up with a 'you're my best friend' to the person they love?— and getting hurt.

Seriously though, that hurt him. Bad.

When he had told Haruto about that, the Japanese willingly prostrated himself to Jeongwoo and even declared that he was willing to commit seppuku. Whatever that was, Jeongwoo didn't know. He wasn't Japanese.

He had to beg Haruto to stand up for about six times before the other finally gave in, apologizing in such a heartfelt manner and explaining his side of the story.

Misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings everywhere even before they got together. Now that they were finally together, he wasn't going to allow anymore lies. And Haruto, as the one who understood him best, thought the exact same thing.

If they had never lied to each other then none of those would have happened. Fear, lies, misunderstandings all ended up with hurt and honesty? It gave them heaven.

He gazed at Haruto, a small smile lighting up his face. That was a rare sight. Jeongwoo was the type to grin every time, but this one was just a simple smile. Somehow, it was more sincere than any of his smiles had ever been.

"Ruto," he spoke. "Promise me one thing."

"No."

His brows creased. "Why?"

"I can't promise anything right now," Haruto said. "I'm so fucking happy that I'll readily agree to everything you say without a second thought. I don't want that. I want to promise you something that I've carefully and meticulously considered. I don't want to give you some half-assed promise."

Jeongwoo immediately brightened up at those words, his heart melting into a warm puddle of love.

"Then, I'll wait for your promise."

"How about you give me your promise first, then?"

Jeongwoo stopped to think at Haruto's suggestion. The Japanese watched him, calmly waiting for his response, and he replied by letting go of his hands. His hands reached up to Haruto's face, cupping his cheeks, an affectionate smile dancing on his lips.

"I promise," he said.

Haruto was confused. "Promise what?"

Instead of speaking, Jeongwoo simply tugged Haruto's face and pressed their lips together. No words had been spoken, but Haruto felt everything that he had wanted to convey. It was more than enough, more than just a word that it couldn't be said.

There was no word of promise, but Haruto knew that Jeongwoo would keep it. Jeongwoo had just promised him the moon, the stars, the sun and the world— the milky way, the blackhole, gravity itself and even every quark there was.

Jeongwoo had promised to give him everything;

and Jeongwoo was his everything.

What did the opinion of people matter? What did a single career matter? Compared to what Jeongwoo was ready to give him, those things were nothing.

"Shit," he whispered as soon as they pulled away from the kiss. "How the hell am I supposed to beat that?"

Jeongwoo merely grinned back at him.

"Ah," he spoke again. "I know now."

The Korean stared at him, as if challenging him to say what it was. He grinned, running both of his hands on Jeongwoo's beautiful locks.

"I'll give you reality, Jeongwoo."

That was all it took for Jeongwoo's tears to finally burst and he cried. For the first time since being chosen for debut, Jeongwoo was finally able to cry tears of joy once more. It was so, so vivid that if almost felt unreal.

The sheer beauty of this moment right now made it much more enticing than his fictional dreams. Everything was real and that was why it was much more meaningful, more beautiful and more feeling than any other fairy tale.

He sobbed into Haruto's chest that day, crying as his boyfriend embraced him tightly.

So what if they were boys?

Love knew no boundaries.

So what if they were young?

Love was ageless.

Falling out of love? — Jeongwoo was proud to say that he had broken all four limbs when he fell in, and Haruto had made it so that there was no escape.

It didn't matter. Nothing else mattered.

They were already each other's everything, what more was there to pay attention for?

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Two more chapters left before epilogue.