My Best Friend's Girl

Chapter 1

The drinking had begun early and continued throughout the event and then somebody remembered the gifts. There was a collective groan but Jim, the best man and master of ceremonies, insisted on going forward. John, the guest of honor was too plowed to care one way or the other. He hurried through opening each one, often missing the nuance of the joke behind the gift. The rest of the guests laughed or groaned appropiately but John was more interested in drinking than anything else.

The last gift however, was a party stopper. John ripped the wrapping paper off the small package and held it up for approval. Nobody said a word. Not a single giggle. There were crickets. Confused, John finally looked at the gift himself. It was a toy, a small cube with bright colored side panels, and each panel had some basic activity suitable for a baby. There was a spinner on one panel, a rattle type thing on another, a sliding door revealed cartoon animals on the third, and a plastic mirror adorned the fourth. On top there was a large button, which, when pushed, generated a squeaking sound.

John took one look in the mirror and tossed the toy away. He looked at the wrapper to see who gave him such an obnoxious gift but there didn't seem to be a name associated with it. Nonetheless, he gave Jim a dirty look. Jim just laughed.

The gift exchange and especially the ill-conceived last gift had sucked the life out of the party and it broke up soon after. Much to the chagrin of the groom, who still wanted to drink the night away. The caterers would take care of the cleanup and between the two of them, Jim and John managed to carry the gifts back up to the hotel room they shared that night. They piled them on the desk and John fell shit-faced on his bed.

Jim stripped to his boxers. Then he went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. When he returned, he stood over his friend, dreading the task before him. John was his best friend since grade school, but he could be a mean drunk sometimes. With a bit of effort Jim managed to turn him over and John merely burped in response. "Ugh!" Jim gasped when the smell hit him. He stepped back for a minute to catch his breath before continuing. He stripped his friend down to his underwear, deftly evading his swatting hands and flailing arms.

He made John as comfortable as possible, pulling him up further onto the bed. He slid a pillow under him and tossed a blanket over him, and stepped back to admire his work. Satisfied, he turned his attention to his own needs. He brushed his teeth, took a piss, and filled a glass with water, which he placed on his nightstand. He was about to climb into bed when he remembered something. He took the baby toy from among the gifts on the desk and placed it next to his friend's face where he was bound to see it when he woke up.