A carriage ride trough Willingden

confession

"You want me to sit here and wait for you and take care of him by myself..."

"This is complete nonsense."

"Nonsense? So I'm talking nonsense?" She burned with excitement and he had to admit to himself that he found it incredibly appealing.

"What's wrong?" He asked, trying to stay calm.

Charlotte stared at him. She didn't know. What was wrong with her? Why did she yell at him in the middle of the street, no matter that people heard her? She was breathing heavily. Looking around, then running towards Trafalgar house, dragging Grumpy behind her. Sidney was furious. What was that? What was wrong with her? What had he done? She was not herself. At Trafalgar House, he could still hear her scolding herself as she ran up the stairs. Confused as he was, he didn't think and followed her.

"What is this all about?" He grumbled.

"What?" She was a little surprised to see him in her room, but that didn't stop her from attacking him.

"You want me to take care of your dog, and the minute you come back, you give me a yelp that I didn't take care of him properly." She shouted.

"First of all, it wasn't serious and you know it."

"How should I know?" Charlotte cried.

"You know me well enough by now!" He yelled back.

Unfortunately, he was right. She knew he wasn't serious. She bit her lip, but kept staring at him. Sidney slowly came a step closer and said in a calm voice.

"And it's your dog."

"He's not."

"Yes, he is. He finally snuck in the carriage to be with you."

"He did that because of you."

"Ha, why would he do that?"

"He wants to be with you."

"But why?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Love."

And as this word left her lips, she suddenly became very calm. Although her heart was pounding violently in her chest. Her stomach turned a few times in all directions. But...?

As this word slowly crept around his heart, Sidney gasped for breath. He lowered his eyes to Grumpy who had unnoticed take place on Charlotte's bed, looking at him with his faithful eyes. Sidney stroked him just behind his left ear and then pointed his head to leave the bed and although no word was spoken, Grumpy obeyed immediately.

Sidney cleared his throat.

"He loves you too," he murmured and turned to go.

"Mr Parker," surprised, he looked at her, "I'm sorry."

He nodded.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." She honestly admitted and stroked her hair.

"Maybe I'm homesick...and." But luckily the rest of the explanation stuck in her throat, she could hardly tell him that she had missed him.

"Ah, yes...then I have something for you." He explained and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. She looked at him in amazement.

"You've been home?" Her voice took on a strange tone.

She had a lump in her throat and tears welling up in her eyes. Reaching for the bundle of letters in his hand and their hands touched slightly. But no one pulled the hand away and when they looked into each other's eyes again it was as if the room was expanding. The setting sun made little golden mica shine in her hair. The air flickered.

"Yes."

"What were you doing there?" Her voice could hardly be heard if they weren't so close.

Sidney remembered how warmly he was welcomed there and how everything became clear to him as he walked with Mr Heywood over his estate.

"My boy! I'm glad to see you."

"Thank you, Mr Heywood."

"I hope everything is fine with Charlotte?"

"When I left Sanditon, she was fine."

"You're on your way back?"

"Yes."

"We're not exactly on your way, so I guess you have a particular concern?"

"Yes, I have."

"Well, tell me."

With her big doe eyes she looked at him expectantly.

"Well I... erm... I was so comfortable with you..." 

She got all warm.

"...with your family...that I wanted to relax and think clearly for a day."

"Do you have so much on your mind?"

He nodded and looked at her embarrassed. One could almost think he looked a little shy.

"What kind of thoughts?"

"What happened in the last few days." Sidney avoided her gaze.

"What exactly do you mean, Mr Parker?" Her heart lifted for a moment.

Exhausted and lost in thoughts, he sat down on her bed where Grumpy had sat before and buried his face in his hands. He moaned and then reached into his inside pocket again and pulled out a small package. Charlotte thought it was a small gift from her parents, so she opened it and was gasping for air when she saw what it was.

"What...?"

Charlotte respectfully stroked his mother's amulet. Freshly polished it shone in the last rays of the sun that danced through her room. Charlotte noticed that the engraving on the back was renewed and admired the filigree writing.

"It looks as good as new," she murmured. Sidney didn't answer, just took a few deep breaths before he looked up at her. Smiling, she handed it back to him.

"Keep it." His voice was a rasping sound that tickled down her back.

"But it's yours." Her eyebrows tightened insecurely.

"You found it."

"Yes, but it means so much to you..."

Sidney closed her fingers around the amulet and she stopped breathing for a moment.

"It's yours if you want it." He whispered.

"Your heart can never be mine." She breathed.

"...it is already yours, Charlotte."