Serotonin

09 I collide

"I guess you couldn't read the poster outside that said, "Assholes can kindly fuck off". Tell me, is being dumb an additional liability to your horrid personality?" Alexis drawled out, and he smiled lightly.

Alexis was an angel to everyone, only Jace could unleash this side of her. He had grown immune to Alexis' taunts and retorts, but he sought out ways to provoke her at every turn. It was the sole way they could communicate without making their confrontations serious and dreary.

"You can pretend you don't like me, Lex," he said with a cocky smirk on his face, and she gave a wry laugh. "Because I know otherwise, I'll allow you to keep your pretense for a while."

"Thank you for granting me permission, Your Highness." She bit out sarcastically and got up from the couch.

"But, let's try and not make this visit about you, okay?" He asked rhetorically and turned towards me with a smile. "You forgot this carton back home, I thought you might need it." I gave him a thankful nod while Alexis rolled her eyes.

"I'd love to insult you further, but you probably wouldn't understand," Alexis said and moved towards the door.

"Is my presence that unnerving that you have to leave?" Jace questioned mockingly, and I really wanted to knock some sense into him. She looked over her shoulder at him with blazing eyes.

I could see beyond the arrogant pretense he was keeping up to provoke her. He was tired of this futile battle of wits when all he really wanted was to have nice meaningful conversations with her. But he didn't have the guts to chase after what he really wanted.

"Nah, I am just tired of putting up with your obnoxiousness," she said with a shrug and turned to me. "I'm sorry, Liv, but you'll have to entertain his selfish ass somewhere else next time." She gave a tight-lipped smile and walked out.

He sighed at her departure, and the frustrated look he had been trying to hide briefly crossed his features before he masked his expressions.

"You know none of this is going to work on her, then why bother?" I asked him earnestly. He understood what I meant. I had been urging him to come clean to her before he lost her for good.

"I can't give up on her, Liv, but at the same time, I can't tell her the truth. Not yet," he sighed. What was worth losing her for? Why did he keep protecting others by hurting himself?

"Don't confuse her with a girl who will wait forever for you to choose," I reminded him. I didn't want him to regret his decisions and lose out on the one girl who loved him unconditionally for who he was. He nodded absentmindedly.

We never truly realized people's value until they were gone.

"Why can't you just let us in? You know you might believe you're protecting us, but we are strong enough to handle the truth, whatever it might be. You don't need to carry the burden on your shoulders." I said in a calm tone, but I was on the verge of expressing my frustrations.

"You make it sound like I am being selfless," he said with feigned indifference, but I wasn't fazed by his behaviour. We were cut from the same cloth.

"Actually, it's quite the opposite, you are extremely selfish. You expect to be a part of Alexis' life without letting her in yours. You want to protect me and fight my battles without giving me the chance to protect you. You choose to be alone on this journey and not accept our extended hands. Jace, not only do you have to share the good things, but the bad ones too." I said with conviction, and he seemed deep in thought.

Does this not apply to you too? When will you let people in?

I may be a hypocrite, but I would do everything in my capacity to urge him to live a better life than mine.