The Secret Muse (#1)

Chapter 39

Giuliano has been visiting daily since he found out I was pregnant. He was kind enough to indulge me in my choice of keeping my pregnancy a secret from everyone else, at least until my belly starts to show.

Even though he has confessed his feelings for me multiple times, he has not asked me to say I love you back. Does he know of my lingering feelings for Botticelli? Either way, that would not matter any longer. Botticelli has been clear of his disappointments in me. That makes two of us.

At 5 months, my belly begins to swell. Thanks to the dress in this century, my belly is unnoticeable. Walking by the streets, despite the awful smell of fish being sold, I couldn't help but smile especially when I see kids running around the streets.

They have been elating me recently. It's perhaps because, in a few months, I'll have a babe of my own.

Arriving at the banks of Arno, I couldn't help but think about the moments I had with Botticelli. I sometimes would see him whenever I walk, but he usually won't look at me.

I have stopped going to the cupola because I get tired too easily nowadays, but in truth, I'm simply scared to go up there and see him avoid me or pretend as if I don't exist.

After what we've been through, I'd simply give him space where he could not see me. I can only imagine how painful it was for him. This city is too small for us not to see each other. I wonder if he still thinks of me the way I think of him almost every day.

When Leonardo arrives, he gladly sat down next to me with a smile as he fishes out the drawings he wishes to show me. "These are a few things I have been working on."

Looking through his sketches, I wanted to tell him how important these papers are going to be in history. "Wow, these are amazing, Leonardo. Nicely done!" Mostly, his drawings consist of siege weaponry. I already know where this conversation will lead.

"Do you think it's good enough for the Medicis to let me make them?"

"To be honest, I do not know," I said, making him feel uncertain. "Do you think Florence needed these types of equipment?"

"We can never always be at peace." He said as he stares at his creations.

"I think it's great of you to think of these great things and the only way for you to know about their answer is to ask them yourself," I said encouragingly as I hand his works back.

"I just wanted to know what you think. After all, you are now one of the most influential women in the city." He said, as he files the papers and put them back in his satchel.

My brow creases in confusion. "Why would you think that?"

Leonardo did a double-take at me and look as if I'm missing the obvious. "You're Giuliano's woman. I'm sure you can sway one of the most powerful men in the city."

I was silent for a while. I may be carrying his child but I do not think I'm his woman. "Did he tell you that?"

"No, but he has been frequenting your house. There are even rumours that perhaps you're now his new fiancé." I do not know why I suddenly feel uneasy. I didn't know that I have become someone in this century. I felt as though my heart fell to my stomach. The repercussions of this in history may be significant and I'm scared of the consequences. When Leonardo looks at me once again, he has noticed my reaction, making him panic for a few seconds. "Forgive me. I should not have said that. I just thought that you and Giuliano are truly together especially now that you don't see Sandro anymore."

"It's fine. I just didn't know that word is spreading around about us. Things are a lot more complicated than that though." I said, looking over the flowing river.