Terms and Conditions

Chapter 20

Oh, no. I raised my hand and covered my lips. Manny, what are you doing?

"Sorry." Luis defensively lifted his hands. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt Chari, Manny. Me and her, we've moved on from that day. We were just here—"

"Ahuh." Manny huffed.

"—Planning on a way to find you, that's all." Luis took in a deep breath. "But you're here, and that's good. We think you need to log out."

"Yeah," Manny said. But it was the way he said it. It wasn't rough Manny or too cool Manny. He was agitated. Borderline exhausted. "We. You kiss Chari once and think you family? Ain't nothing about you family."

I placed my hand on Manny's arm to get his attention. "Manny, he didn't do anything. We just..."

Manny looked at me. His dark skin was moist, sweat on his temple. One of his eyes was red, bloodshot, like he'd been in a fight and took one good swing to the head. But I knew it wasn't a fight. It was the game.

"Again... we." Manny looked away, eyes to the sky. He arched his back and raised his shoulders. "Y'all ain't worried about me. Just pretending to be is—"

I squeezed his arm. Hard. It was my desperate attempt to get him to see me, his smaller cousin, his best friend. It was like when we were kids and I needed him most; the way I held him, no matter how tight, just to let him know. "Manny."

"Chari, I..." At first his voice was stern, hard, scary even. I squeezed his arm again rather than move away. Feeling my emotions must have hit him, because he lowered his head. Sweat dripped from his nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Hey." I tried to look at him.

"Should I bring Anna One? I can get her. She can help log him out, no?" Luis said quietly, but he didn't leave. He looked at the two of us. A hint of regret was on his face.

"Get her, please" I said. As Luis left, I turned Manny around, made him face me, and cupped his face. "Manny, look at me."

"I'm sorry," Manny whispered, eyes closed. He took in a trembling breath. "I don't..."

"No, no, it's okay." My hands slid from his face to his shoulders. "We're going to log out, okay? We're going to relax, lie down. I'll call abuela to grab some aspirin or something."

"Aspirin?" Manny sighed. "Do you think that'll be all I need?"

I honestly didn't know. I wanted to tell him yes; aspirin was all he needed. A simple pill to fix it all was my hope.

Cupping his head in my hands, I observed every corner of his face. Red darkened his brown cheeks. Sweat outlined his brow. When he opened his eyes, there wasn't a drop of white in them.

Emotions swelled up in my chest.

Manny let out a sad, pained snort. "Mom thinks this is drugs," he whispered. "Did I tell you that?"

He didn't have to. I heard her. Drugs. Manny dripped into a downward spiral. In a game designed to keep us all straight and narrow.

Manny sucked in a breath. "Since we were kids, I said..." Another breath. "I would join you in everything you wanted, 'cause the other kids were little shits." He lifted his head. The skies of Love or Nothing cast a pink light on his face. What should've been a beautiful glow was eerie. The veins pulsed in his neck. "I couldn't let you do this alone."

"It's just a game," I whispered as he slumped forward, head on my shoulder. His body, larger than mine, was heavy, but I wrapped my arms around him. I tried to hold him up. "It's really just a game."