The Curse's Breath

Chapter Forty-Two

Celni shuddered, testing her human legs again. After all this time, it was still weird to turn between dragon and human. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it, she thought. She adjusted her shirt over her jeans and then stopped, holding the end of her shirt out to look at it.

Where did her clothes go when she turned?

It was a weird thought that hadn't occurred to her before.

Did they just... disappear? Or did they go inside her?

She snorted. At least it's better than ending up naked every time. That would make things a lot more difficult.

Celni raised an eyebrow, another thought striking her. What would a dragon look like with clothes on?

She pictured Keltaril with a thick coat and a scarf looped around his long neck. The image she created in her mind was so adorable, but so stupid, that she just bust out laughing. And she couldn't stop. She laughed so much that her stomach hurt. It was so good to have a spot of joy, just a single spark of light in the darkness that had consumed her life.

She missed this. She missed being happy. She missed feeling light and air-free, not bogged down with anxiety about the future and guilt about past mistakes.

Celni sat down on the street of the alley she was in, resting her back against one of the buildings. How had things gotten so complicated? So... messy. She remembered how life used to be. When the only thing the war meant was what her father's job that he went to in the morning. When the only fights she had were against rubber dragons, not knowing they would become so real. When Jahier was her best friend. When they would go for late night ice cream trips and laugh at the weird faces they made when they got brain freezes. When she was only a human. When she wasn't lying to everyone she knew.

When there was no blood on her hands.

How many had she killed? How many had died because of her?

Keran. Ashnule. The miners.

She could argue that they weren't her fault. But down in the bottom of her heart, she knew that they were.

Because she had failed to do her job. Because instead of saving everyone from destruction like she was prophesied to do, she was the one bringing them to destruction.

Celni was so frustrated at herself, at her failures. But she was also frustrated at the world, at luck, at whatever had given her this stupid responsibility.

She stood up, angry all of a sudden. Why did it have to fall on her? Why was she the only one carrying the fate of thousands? It wasn't fair. None of it was.

Celni looked up at the dark sky. It was a couple hours before the sunrise. She should probably head home.

Sticking her hands in her pockets, she left the alleyway and started toward her house.

She had barely been walking for a few minutes when she heard a voice call her name.

"Celni? Celni Halderan?"

Celni stopped and turned. A boy and a girl were heading toward her. They were holding hands, ice cream cups in their free hands.

She bit the inside of her lip, struggling not to see the connection between them and what she and Jahier used to be. "Yes, that's me," she said.

"Oh my gosh," the girl said. "It's actually you! I can't believe it!"

"We watched your battle against Srenya and the fire dragon yesterday," the boy added. "The way you took that dragon down was astounding!"