Imaginary| J. Hale

v. Reflection

AN:// Trigger warning on this chapter. I don't know what exactly to call it. I just wanted to warn readers that this chapter might be a bit heavy. Skip to Jasper's POV if you're uncomfortable with this type of thing.

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Chapter five

|Twilight|

[Angel]

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I was sitting against the backside of the house staring at the tree line a lit cigarette hanging from my lips. To say I was hanging by a thread was an understatement. Sleep had become the only thing that gave me rest from the voice at the back of my mind constantly telling me I was worthless. Most times I was able to drown it out and pretend it didn't exist but god did it wear me down.

I wanted to crawl into the darkest hole I could and just shut the world away. There were some points where I felt completely empty. Nevertheless I never showed my true feelings. I let people see this confident no nonsense girl when in all actuality, I was suffering.

I stepped on the dead cigarette standing up as I dried the silent tears from my cheek. I then headed inside my currently empty home. Dad was out getting groceries which allowed me to shower and just let myself think.

Mom hadn't even bothered to contact me since I arrived in Forks and as much as I hated it, I felt hurt. I wouldn't lie and say I out right wanted to cut my mother out of my life. In fact deep down, as much as it pains me to say this, I wanted to have some sort of positive relationship with her because no matter what happens, in the end of the day she's still my mom. The woman who brought me quite literally kicking and screaming into this world.

Yet again I found myself staring at the ceiling of my bedroom in nothing but a towel. I sat there for what felt like hours watching the fan spin before sitting up. That's when I saw it— my reflection. It's been a hot minute since I last had taken a good look at myself in one.

I touched my long brunette locks. They felt soft like silk much to my surprise. I then let my fingers grazed over my pale skin on my face with my dark brown eyes fixated on my the mirror. I looked a lot healthier now than I had in the past, probably because I was getting actual sleep now, but that's neither here nor there.

"Nothing here is going to change. You realize that right?" I jumped back as my reflection starts to speak.

I'm dreaming. I have to be. Reflections don't fucking speak.

"Nice try but I'm real." My reflection smirks at me.

I'm going nuts. It's official.

"No matter what you think you know I'm right."

"That's not true. I have people like Chief and my dad who care about me," I spats back at the mirror.

I cannot believe I'm humoring this.

"Ha don't make me laugh. They only care because you can do something for them. For your dad you're just an extension of him as a 'hard working parent' and Chief, he only cares because you befriended his awkward daughter."

I balled my fist trying to calm down. This is all in your head Angel. Think of anything else.

"Face it girl. You're nothing but a waste of space. A burden. Maybe you should just pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow so that no one has to deal with your problematic self."

Breathe. In and out. Just like you're grandpa taught you.

"Look at how pathetic you are..."

In and out.