Second Composer

Chapter 8

I am going to yeet myself off a roof.

The world wants to make me suffer. I just know it. What have I done that them hate me so much?

I wish the floor swallow me now. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

I can feel everyone look at me when Hyuga-sensei announced my partner. Their eyes burn into me. I hate it. I hate the attention I am getting right now. I couldn't look up from my desk as I didn't want to see their faces. I can feel different emotions. The boys pity me while the girls give hatred and jealously towards me.

To think I have him as my partner makes me want to run out of the room and hide under my bed. The person I so desperately don't want to face. The person who made me cry just this morning.

The world is truly cruel.

As I hear the bell ring, I scramble to get up and run out the door. I hear Syo calling out to me, but I ignore him. I didn't have specific place to run, but I'm glad that my feet take me to my dorm room. I quickly unlock it and rush inside. I slam the door behind me and slide down it. I pull my legs towards me. I put my head on my knees and let the tears from earlier escape once again. This time I did not stop the sob. I am glad that the dorm rooms are slightly soundproof as I let out an ugly cry. I probably look awful too.

In my pocket, I feel my phone vibrating. I ignore it. It was probably Syo trying to call me and want to know where I ran off to. After the fifth ring, I calm down enough to at least talk. I grab my phone and look at who it was. I was surprise to see their name on the screen instead of Syo's. I answer the call.

"Hello?" I greeted, not bothering to hide the exhaust in my voice.

"You okay?" a voice similar to mine's asked.

"No."

There is a pause on the other side.

"Is it him?" the voice said after a while.

"Yes."

I feel my butt numbing from sitting on the hard floor, so I made the attempt to move to the bed. I flop on top of the bed and pull the covers around me, not caring if I make my clothes wrinkle at all.

"Want to talk about it?"

I say quiet. I don't know how to begin to explain how I feel about this. I mean, I'm happy to see him and that he is well, but I don't to face him to know that he is angry or worse hates me. I left without telling him. I left without even a goodbye. I know it wasn't my fault and that I have no choice to move away, but I can't help feeling guilty for not telling him.

"Teresa?" the voice called, getting my attention again.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I don't know how to tell you."

Finally realizing I was still holding my phone, I put it on speaker and set the phone next to my head.

"I guess you'll have to start at the beginning."

No way of getting out of this one, I told them about how the first day of classes was and the friends I made. I told them about Haruka and how I think she is a main character in a harem anime. I told them about the run in with him this morning and that I was paired up with him.

"Shouldn't you be happy to see him, Teresa?" the voice asked, confusion can be heard.

"I am. I really am happy to see him." I said, letting out a huff of frustration. "But... I'm scared."

No matter how I look at it, it is always fear that stop me. Fear of being angered. Fear of being hated. Fear of being rejected. Fear is always going to stop me for doing the things that I love.

"You're going have to overcome that sooner or later. If you want my opinion, I say do it sooner."

"I know. But I just can't."

I hear my voice cracked as I feel like crying again.

"You promise me, Teresa." They said. "You promise that if you are going to be a composer, you are going have to do this without me."

"I know." I said again. "I know. But it is so hard. It is so hard to do things without you by my side, Aka. We've done so much together. I just don't think I can do it."

"Teresa." Aka said my name firmly. "It has only been two days. You can't give up that early. I want you to try for at least a week. Can you do that? For me?"

I think it over. They were right. It has only been two days. I can't give up that easily. And I am already here. I need to at least try. If not for me, then for them.

"I'll try." I whispered, not worrying if Aka heard me or not.

"That is all I am asking." Aka said. "And I want you to talk to him."

"Aka-"

"You can't delay this for much longer." Aka cuts me off. "I hate to see you like this. I hate to see you so miserable."

I hear Aka's voice cracking. It breaks my heart to hear them like this. Both Aka and I have been through so much in the past, and we are both just recovering from it. So, to hear that... to hear Aka's voice sound like that again... I don't to go back.

"Okay." I said softly. "I'll talk to him."

"Thank you."

I can't see their face, but I can feel that they are smiling. I smile back, although I know they cannot see it.

"So," Aka said, cutting the comfortable silences that was there for a minute, "are you going to tell me who these friends of yours are?"

I giggle and go on to tell them about the interesting people I have befriended over the two days I have been here.

I feel much better. Talking to Aka again. To hear their voice and talk about my life right now. It is nice. I guess I'll have to work hard now. For Aka's sake.