Izuku's journal "Jeez zuku you really can't do anything" That and more always followed me, I was told I was "useless" "stupid" "annoying" "weak" and so much more most of it was from kacchan but maybe if I get into UA I wouldn't have to listen to his death threats, but knowing how smart he is he'll probably get in, and how in the fuck will a quirkless loser like me get in, I bet everyone who reads my papers and see that I want to get into UA will laugh there asses off.
*time skip and he gets into UA and he got a dorm*
It's been a long time since I've wrote in this. Man I reread the last time wrote in this book and looked at how much has changed, I have a quirk,a crush,and I guess I have friends but mostly likely they only hang out with me because they have no one to talk to. To past me no, kacchan did not leave me alone and is still in my school and is still a asshole. I forgot I also draw in this book. I haven't drawn anything in a long ass time well I'll just my self rn I guess
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I did at least I got better but I'm still crap at drawing TwT. I gotten Spotify on my phone so now I can listen to music (yay). Uraraka saw my playlist and said "why so many sad songs" I didn't know bille eillish, Melanie Martinez's songs were sad. At times when I'm bored and I need to "vibe" I put on lo-fi songs like hot milk,tsundere Jazz,my ordinary life, and way more (author Chan here, you should definitely listen to those song, they are actually really good) rn I'm listening to my liked playlist and "I wish you were gay" by bille eillish is playing, I might color my drawing but I'll need to buy colored pencils. OOOOOO MY FAVE SONG IS ON its chop suey! OMG I LOVE THAT SONGGGG. "FATHER FATHER FATHER. WHY HAVE YOU FAR SAKEN ME IN YOUR HEART FAR SAKEN FAR SAAAAAA MEEE ILL... SELF... SUICIDEEEEEEE IIIII TRYYYY WHEN ANGLES DISERVE TO DIEEEEE". I need to stop yelling the lyrics because I'm scared to have a someone will talk about a noise complaint. OOOoOoooo goodbye is playing ok I need to stop talking about music. I've been told by my mom that I have a nice voice and that I can do runs very smoothly (the singing runs not actually running) so I sang at school headphones and sang the song that came up first (because I put it on shuffle play) the first song was dead girl walking(heathers fans where you at) I sang it till I got to to class, I got some stares because either 1: I sang 2: the runs 3:because I never actually talk so they probably heard my voice for the first time 4:or because I was literally singing about sex and dying 5: or because I was cursing, people think I'm innocent and dont like swearing but actually it's the opposite I just chose not to curse (out loud at least heh)All the people in my class were walking behind me to hear me singing, the reason i knew that is because I heard someone say "all 19 are following that boy" "there all the first years right, class 1-A" so that's when I knew everyone was following me
The next day I was tired of writing yesterday so I stoped but today I feel like writing because I 1: sang the whole heathers playlist 2 times 2: sat next to todoroki and actually saw his smile because I made him laugh 3: got a 98% on my pop quiz 4: and actually some people want singing lessons I don't actually know how I can sing ""good"" so I won't do the lessons
I got asked by uraraka why I don't eat ( oh fucking god I was going to talk about how deku doesn't eat then 'empty' came on 😂 for y'all who don't know what song 'empty' is it's a song made by jaiden animations and boyinaband, it's about anorexia which is what deku has) I told her that I was not hungry but I actually have anorexia which is a eating disorder where I don't eat at all and if I did eat I threw it up, I wish I was normal and can actually stomach the food but I can't, I drink beverages but I don't feel good after drinking them, the only thing I can drink with out throwing up is water,and only water. I have the disorder because I think I'm really fat so the only way I can get skinny is by not eating, people tell me that I'm skinny and fit but all I see is a fat ass who weak and can't defend them selfs. I'm actually in the bathroom rn because I said I was going to use the restroom but I actually came because I wanted to let all my feelings out not because I wanted to take a piss but I've been here for 5 minutes so I guess I have to get out
( it's author Chan this is my new book where deku is depressed and writes in his journal, this is going to be a tododeku book so look out for that 😉. I was going to do pov's and journal parts, in this chapter I only did journal parts and next chapter is some normal dialogue and pov's Stay happy and healthy my lil cats)
