Touch Of The Poor

㉕That Wasn't Normal

"You don't understand me?"

"That too." Both chuckled at his remark. "But I don't understand me either."

Jeongguk huffed as his shoulders lifted in a lazy shrug. "Who understands themselves anyway?"

"But shouldn't we? We only have ourselves in this life anyway. Shouldn't we be able to understand ourselves at least?"

"You don't have only yourself. You have your friends, Inguk... me."

He stayed silent for a spell as he didn't seem able to take his eyes away from Jeongguk's spellbinding ones. "I mean... at the end of the day, we have only ourselves as we lie down in our bed. We have only ourselves as we wake up to start our day. We can't be surrounded by people 24/7. Isn't it odd that we can't understand ourselves if we spend so much time alone?"

Jeongguk puzzled over his words for a few seconds. "You have a point. But I'm sure you can understand yourself to some extent. It's just that sometimes you can't. And maybe you're not supposed to. I mean, you can never know yourself fully."

"True."

"And maybe, there are some things that you can understand about yourself, but you don't want to acknowledge them. For example, I'm sure you know why you don't want to take your shirt off, but you just don't want to tell me." He peered at him in depth as he spoke, tracing the tight muscles in his face and his now sunken eyes. "And I'm sure you know why you suddenly came here beside me, but you won't tell me that either."

Taehyung lowered his head as he listened to the younger; he was right, and he knew it, but he didn't have the courage to admit it. But then he thought that Jeongguk had already figured out there was a reason for his actions, and he realized that he didn't have anything to hide.

"I'm too skinny," he said in a muted tone, his saddened eyes staring at the water. "And you are... built and toned."

Jeongguk's brows clumped together at his words as he felt a surge of rage flash through him. "Yah, what the hell? That doesn't mean you're not beautiful."

"I just didn't want you to be disgusted by my body," he whispered as he dragged his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"For fuck's sake, you're not anorexic Tae, you're just slim. And even if you were anorexic you would be just as beautiful. Whoever made you believe that you have to have a toned body to be beautiful or acceptable is a total shithead."

Taehyung pushed his chin deeper into his chest and tightened his grip around his knees. "I'm sorry, I made you mad."

"Fuck, Tae, don't apologize," he said with a heavy sigh and sneaked his arm over his shoulders, pulling him against his body. "I just don't want you to think like that." His tone was utterly velvety, soothing, his lips hovering above his head, inhaling his balmy, floral scent in the process. "How do you manage to smell so good even after hours of work?" He seemed to be so inebriated by his aroma as he drew in a few more deep puffs it led him to toss off something he probably shouldn't have.

Because his question had Taehyung panicking, his heart prancing, his face turning beet red, and his eyes growing double their size in absolute astonishment.

The thick silence carried on cruelly, and Jeongguk could only curse himself in his head, unable to believe what he just blurted out. Did I actually say that? Am I fucking crazy? He slammed his eyes shut in stark frustration and edged away a few seconds later.

He cleared his throat, red-faced, uneasy to the core, and shifted to the other side of the jacuzzi. "I'm just gonna go take a shower in the other bathroom," he said with a chuckle chock-full of awkwardness and stepped out of the jacuzzi.