Scars On Ice | Charlie Conway

t h i r t y - f o u r

After spending all of Sunday on the phone with either Charlie or Elle, Aspen met Monday with an unusual excitement. Her positive attitude was contagious, and being around her in the halls put even Jay in a good mood - a feat that seemed to be getting more and more difficult to accomplish. Her good mood lasted until about lunch.

When she approached their usual table, she noticed two very specific absences. Elle had returned to sitting with the hockey team, surely in order to avoid Peter, and Roland was nowhere to be found. She frowned the moment she met Jay's eyes. "Where's Roland?" she asked.

Jay and Peter exchanged a hesitant look. The shorter boy turned to glance up at the girl over his shoulder. His eyes were sad - softer than she had seen them in a long time. He sighed, "You have that look on your face."

Aspen furrowed her fair brows. "What look?"

"That look," he repeated, his tone gritty. "If I tell you where he is, you'll go looking for him."

She crossed her arms over her chest, letting out an indignant huff. "And what's so wrong with that?" she demanded. From the way Peter was speaking, and the way Jay was hesitantly watching, she had a feeling that there was something they weren't telling her. They both knew she hated when they did that.

Peter sighed again, shaking his head sadly. "It's just not a good idea, Hops." When he met her gaze again, the unspoken meaning of his warning passed between them. Aspen felt her heart drop to her stomach. Charlie had been right.

"Where is he?" she asked again, her tone far more intense this time. All of the carefree mentality she had earlier in the day had completely vanished. She couldn't focus on much other than the pounding in her head.

Peter just shook his head again. When he didn't speak, Jay did. "He's in the library." Peter immediately sent his friend a dirty look, clearly chastising him for revealing a secret that wasn't his to share. But Jay just shrugged. "They can't live like this, Pete."

An angry huff left Peter's lips. "Yeah, well..." His sentence dissolved into a hot breath. The anger that had flared so quickly within him fizzled out just as fast. He waved a tired hand at her. "Just go."

Aspen turned her distraught gaze to Jay, who gave her a small nod, encouraging her to leave. Part of him knew exactly what he was sending her into, and he knew that it was something that just needed to be done. But a smaller part of him couldn't help but worry that maybe this time, he wasn't doing the right thing.

There was no dwelling on it, as Aspen had squared her shoulders and left the room before Jay even got a chance to consider telling her to stay. He and Peter exchanged a cautious look. Neither of them had any idea what to expect. And honestly, neither did Aspen.

Her entire walk to the library was riddled with anxiety. Several times she contemplated just turning around, maybe going and talking to Joey instead. But Jay was right. She and Roland couldn't spend the rest of the year tip toeing around each other as if they had never been friends. He mattered too much to her. She couldn't imagine the rest of high school without him.

Because without him meant without Peter. And without Peter meant leaving just Jay and Aspen. Elle was far too busy to be around as much as she used to be, and Jay seemed to be going through something that he refused to tell anyone about. She couldn't just lose her best friends like that. She wouldn't survive.

She had to pause for a moment before she was able to push open the door to the library. The room was nearly silent, save for the soft whirring of the heater above her head. The librarian wasn't even in, having gone on her usual lunch excursion with her husband. There was absolutely no one there. No one except Roland.