Bleed Me Dry: Chris Brown

Chapter 24:

"How you been Maurice?"

"I'm good." My answer was simple as my eyes scanned the room looking for that familiar face again.

"No really son how are you?"

"Oh I'm your son now? I thought both of them were dead already." I was unwilling to give him any room to play with me or this conversation. "Look man you told my wife you had something important to say to me so I'm here don't talk me in circles like I'm some child."

"Then stop acting like one."

My eyes shot back to his faster than I wanted. I didn't want him to know his words caused any reaction out of me but it was to late he already seen that they have.

"Look son I didn't want you to come here to argue. I know our last visit didn't go well but I'm trying to fix that and trying to apologize."

"Why now?" I spoke causing my head to drop to the side slightly. "Why....because you said some fucked up shit to me and didn't bother to reach out and fix it as you say until you found out you really almost lost both sons."

My father look across at me with a expression that was unreadable but I didn't break my own stone face.

"You're right that is why I'm apologizing now. I almost lost another son and the last thing he would have remembered me saying to him was he was dead to me. There is no excuse for what I said so I wont try and make one. I won't tell you I'm sorry because sorrys are for sorry ass niggas. I'll be a real man...a real father and admit when I was wrong and apologize to my son."

That's the one thing my pops always taught me that I honestly haven't been living up to. Never be sorry always be apologetic.

"I love you son and I never wanted you to doubt that. It's just being in here, being locked in a cage while the streets help raise my boys I can't help but blame myself. I made it look okay to be gangster, a thug or whatever they calling us black men now. I didn't set an example for you or Marcus. I should have been a better father...I want you to be a better father. Marcus can't be there. I couldn't be there. You need to be there Maurice. That baby is going to need you. Your wife is going to need you."

"I know dat pops and I'm here."

"But for how long son?" I know he wasn't really look for a answer from me so I stayed quiet. "These streets don't love you. Them homies of yours are only going to move on once you're in the box. Your kids, your wife they are ones who will never be the same without you."

I was beginning to understand why he wanted to have this talk in person. He was trying to tell me leave everything alone, to let Marcus rest, to let everything go.

"Dat ain't me pops and you know it cuz dat wasn't you. I can't let dis shit ride. My brother is inna fuckin' box and everybody involved gonna pay for dat shit. I don't give a fuck if it kills me."

"It's not worth it Maurice. These streets aren't worth your life."

"But Marcus is..I can't let dat shit go and you can't ask me to cuz if you was out here on these streets you would be going just as hard as me."

"If I was out on the streets I wouldn't have buried my son and my other one wouldn't have a death wish!" My pops raised his voice getting the attention of a few CO's that stood close.

One motioned for him to calm down which caused my pops to take a few deep breaths before relaxing back into his seat. The silence between us was starting to become suffocating I was ready to break it when a voice coming from the right caught my attention.

"Aye you Reese?"

Sitting up in my seat my back straighten. It was the nigga who caught my eye when my pops first walked out.