The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | t w e n t y - o n e

Harry stares at the two of us curiously, drinking up his bowl of green milk. Hunter meanwhile, wears a thoroughly unamused expression.

"You two are too old for Prank Week," he says. "Please. Stop."

I pause, looking up.

"Nonsense," Hayden tells him, just as I adamantly reply, "Never."

Hunter massages his forehead, frustration practically dripping from his pores. "What is the point in dedicating an entire week to making each other angry and arguing all the time?"

"Hunter, Hunter, Hunter," I shake my head in disappointment, "I thought you knew better by now? Prank Week is more than an argument, it's a bonding ritual."

"How do you think Harvey and I get along so well every other day of the year?" Hayden asserts. "It's because of Prank Week."

"You two call the way you act 'getting along'?"

"Mostly civil, with a few little disputes here and there? Yeah," Hayden says with a shrug, snatching away the mousetrap Hunter placed on the table before Harry can get his hands on it. "Now, imagine if Prank Week didn't exist. It would be back to when we were seven and Harvey and I were tearing each other's hair out every other day."

"And do you really want that, Hunt?" I ask in a solemn tone.

"The answer, of course," Hayden replies, "is no."

I nod vehemently in agreement, bringing my coffee mug to my lips to take another sip.

"By the way, Harvey," Hayden adds without skipping a beat, "I added the green dye to the coffee beans too."

I choke, spitting out the liquid in my mouth on impulse.

It's not until my coffee is spluttered all over the table and Hayden booms with laughter that I realise he is probably just joking. But the damage is already done. Damnit.

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Despite starting strong, by the fourth day of Prank Week, I'm nervous.

While Hayden's pranks have been increasing in complexity, mine have been getting progressively more feeble to the point Hayden has even managed to spot and successfully evade two of mine from today.

It doesn't help that I'm always busy coaching Finn on his surfing these days to be completely dedicated to pulling pranks on my twin. And because I forgot to prepare beforehand for this week, I find myself running out of both ideas and resources much earlier than I anticipated.

Eventually, I'm forced to face the facts: I need help.

And there's only one person who can provide it.

Gathering up my courage, I knock on the door to Harry and Hollis's room, lingering trepidatiously outside for a moment before walking in.

"Hello, Harvey... I've been expecting you."

Hollis swivels round in his gaming chair to face me, his face void of emotion as he cradles Bugs in his arms, leisurely stroking the turtle's bony shell.

My eyebrows knit together. I frown.

"Why are you bothering Bugs?" I reproach. "Return him to his terrarium."

"Yes, Harvey." Hollis grumpily stands up to restore Bugs back in his glass habitat.

When he sits down again, I say, "I'm sure you know why I'm here. I need help with Prank Week."