Outlaws - An American Youth - [Charles Smith x OC]

Chapter 36 - Third Year

-----

"Chicago, March 4th, 1902.

Dear Charles,

This week we started the practical anatomy classes. I know you wish that I had never seen the carnage of Murfree Brood, but today I'm glad I did. Seeing these horrors allowed me to remain unmoved in front of the corpses presented in the dissection room, when many others around me felt bad.

Despite appearances, I still had to take it upon myself. You would think that after all I've seen, this would be a formality. But these are human beings lying there under our scalpels. The process is no different than with the animals you hunt. But the effect is far from being the same.

It is very strange to see these lifeless naked bodies that are carved without more ceremony. They were someone's children, someone's friends. They lived, they loved, they suffered, like all of us. And now they find themselves cut up by apprentice doctors, under the cold light of the laboratory. But that's how we learn, how we can heal the living.

It seems to me that lessons are getting more and more difficult, and I have to redouble my efforts. Sometimes I wonder if you and Arthur didn't overestimate my abilities. I do my best not to disappoint you.

Lately I've been working on a new song on the piano. It was Flora who introduced me to it. I find it beautiful. I send you the sheet music in hope that one day you will find someone to play it for you.

Fondly,

Anna"

For several weeks, Flora has invited me to spend Saturday afternoons with her. Her parents owned a magnificent home in upscale neighborhoods. The large garden was covered with flowers as soon as the warm weather arrived. To support Chicago's long gray months, a winter garden had been installed at the back of the building. The floor was covered with a delicate mosaic with geometric patterns, the white walls had many mirrors, reflecting the slightest ray of light. Amidst the lush plants and velvet benches, a grand piano had been installed.

This is where we spend our afternoons. I was impressed by the luxury of this house while feeling very comfortable there. Flora's parents were very humble, and never made me feel out of step. However, with my faded dress dating from my arrival in Canada, I denoted in the decor. The maids looked like princesses in comparison. But no one cared, I was welcomed as well as any of their guests from good society.

With enthusiasm, my friend introduced me to the great European composers of the past century. She liked Schubert very much, but my preference went to Chopin. I found in his works the melancholy that often took my heart. When she played me the Waltz No. 10 for the first time, I had tears in my eyes. For some reason, it reminded me of my past life, the gang. Joys, sorrows, melancholy. Everything was in this song. 

I began to learn it assiduously. When I wasn't working on my lessons, I went down to the foyer to train on the piano. I think some of the residents ended up getting tired of hearing this song. But I didn't care. I had to master it. Secretly, I was hoping to be the one to play it to Charles one day.

-------------

"Chicago, June 16th, 1902.

Dear Charles,

I passed my exams! I wrote to you last week that I thought I had missed everything, I ended up doing very well. I would have liked to have had better marks, but the main thing is that I am accepted in 2nd year.

I'm halfway there, do you realize? I never thought I would get there. If all goes well, in three years I will be a doctor. A doctor. All this seems still very unreal to me.

Meanwhile, the summer is looking promising. I found myself a little job at the local grocer, he needed someone to keep his cashier a few hours a day. I figured it wouldn't hurt to make some money. Not that I am spending a lot, but my outings with Flora this year have somewhat reduced my savings. And I'd like to buy a new dress, this one is from Canada. Do you remember the salesman's face when I came in with my bloody cowboy outfit? He probably didn't see a lot of clients like that.

The heat has been overwhelming for the past few days, I hope it won't last too long. How is summer where you are?

I think of you,

Anna"

------

"July 1st, 1902.

Anna,

I always believed in you. I had no doubts about your success. And it will be the same for the next 3 years. Have a great summer. Don't get too tired in this job, you need to be in good shape to go back to school in September. It's not much, but I join you a few dollars. I prefer to do without it and be sure that you do not kill yourself with the work.

Here, everything is fine. The heat is not too strong yet, I can carry out my activities without suffering too much from the sun. I may have a lead for something else further west. I will write to you if I move.

Charles."

I frowned. Once again, he was very vague about his "activities". All I knew was that he was in Oklahoma, in a small town that I had struggled to find on the library map. I was not a devout Christian, but every night I said a few words in his favor, praying that he would not be dragged into wrong paths again.

I counted the bills received. 10 dollars. It was a week of honest and hard work for a worker. "Oh Charles" I whispered. I was suddenly sad. I didn't want him to sacrifice himself for me this way. In my next letter, I begged him not to send me any more money, I didn't want him to miss because of me. I lived quite decently, and thanks to my scholarship, I was safe from the street. I wanted to make some extra money to live in peace and have something to do during the summer. I lacked nothing.

He replied that he was not lacking either, and that I should see this as a congratulatory gift for my hard work. I swore to reimburse him the day I received my first salary as a doctor. He might not want my money, but maybe in the form of a gift he would accept it.

I enjoyed working at the grocery store. It wasn't that tiring, I only worked a few hours a day. It was even rather entertaining. The customers were all locals, most of whom I knew by sight. They were all talking to me and were pleasant to serve. If the lessons had not been as engaging, I think I would have continued even during the school year.

When I was not at the grocery store, I met Flora or Hazel. We used to go to the parks and eat ice cream by the water. Sometimes we went to the movies or along the lake. The phone had been installed at the pension, so I called my sister to hear from her. She was pregnant again, for her greatest joy. She had always wanted to have a large family to raise. I rejoiced with her, promising to return the following summer to meet this new child.

For the first time in a long time, I felt good in my life. It was a wonderful summer, one of the best in my youth. I only missed the presence of my dearest friend for my happiness to be total.