I'll Take it Shaken, Not Stirred

Chapter 19: The Snitch Snatch

"I had to counsel with Prongs," replied Sirius with dignity.

"His face... Merlin, his face, Padfoot!" gasped Remus, as if not having heard his friend. "Priceless! Golden! Classic—I'm telling you!"

"Go on then," urged Peter. "What happened?"

Remus then related the entire story, from the prank itself, to the point where Filch had nearly punished a fourth year for the whole thing. "And then," Mr. Moony went on, "I turned up and since you two—" (here he nodded to James and Sirius) "—weren't there, he assumed I was perfectly respectable, so I told him the fourth year had been helping me carry books to the library, and therefore couldn't have put the dungbombs in his bag... and, believe me, Filch was about to explode So, when Filch made off to get detention forms, the fourth year and I thought it was best to get out of there, but... Merlin, the expression! Classic!"

The Marauders laughed appreciatively at the mental image of Filch exploding (figuratively and literally), and then Remus continued: "So what 'counsel' did Padfoot need?"

"He was worrying about the Quidditch cup," said Peter at once. Sirius kicked him.

"Pansy," observed Remus.

Sirius scoffed. "I'm the least pansy Marauder there is," he told them. "Worms squeals like a girl, Prongs is a sucker for them, and Moony reads like one. You're pansies, the lot of you!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," scolded the three, mostly amiably.

"I'm just saying, is all," Sirius replied, as he swung all the way up the branch and stretched out on it. Resting his head against the branch, he stared up at the branches directly in front of him, and at the sky he could see through them.

Remus, meanwhile, also stretched out, though on the grass. He put his hands behind his head and said: "So, guys... with all this hype you lot are spreading about the Cup, I kind of have to wonder... what if we lose?"

"We won't lose," chorused the other three immediately.

"Of course not," Remus sighed. "If you say s..."

"You two!" shrieked a girl's voice suddenly. All four Marauders looked up to see Eden Dearborn standing over (or in Sirius's case, under) them, hands on hips and a stern expression on her pretty face.

"'Ello, E," said James good-naturedly.

"You two!" she repeated, casting chilling glares at James and Sirius. "You two!"

"Say that one more time and I swear I'll hit a bludger at you during the Final," Sirius warned cheerily. "Us two. Yes. It's established."

"You guys are dead," Eden informed them.

"Ha, ha, you're dead!"

"Shut up, Moony."

Eden cleared her throat.

"Alright, E," said James diplomatically. "What is we've done now?"

"You've put guards on me!" the blonde cried angrily.

"For your own safety, Dear," Sirius assured her jovially. "You're the star beater of the Gryffindor team—besides me—and any Slytherin might have a go at you at any time."