I'm Coming Home

Fooled me twice and it's all on me

Wyatt

I collapsed onto the couch after she disappeared out of my front door. I felt drained just from that 30-minute encounter but even then, I wished it was longer. So, I just sat here thinking about the night she drove off. The way she tasted and how I wanted to beg her to stay. I knew it was wrong to do so, I watched as Emily took bits and pieces of her after every encounter. I couldn't even man up and go with her, instead, I did the one thing I really shouldn't have done. I slept with the enemy. I literally slept with the enemy.

I know that I was at my lowest when I did it, and Cass was off doing what she needed to do. Repairing what needed repairing, and I didn't want to turn to her. I didn't want to make her come home because I was going through a tough time. I had no right to do so when I didn't do anything to help her when she was here. I had every chance to stand up for Cass but I never did, I didn't think it was ever my place but laying here in my empty apartment I realize I was wrong. If I did what any guy in love would have done, she never would have left. She would have stayed right here next to me and the last 4 lonely years would never have happened.

Running my hands through my hair I let out a frustrated groan. The only woman I ever loved, returned whole and fixed and I couldn't even make her talk to me out of fear that she would run again. Angrily standing from my spot I thought about following her out the door, down to that apartment building but I knew it wasn't smart in my state, so instead I headed to the fridge for a beer. At least with alcohol in my system I'd be less tempted to drive the 5 minutes to her. I wouldn't be able to force my way into her home and make her forgive me. In the confused and unsure state that she's currently in, it just wasn't the right thing to do.

I had to wait for her to come to me. So, for not, I'll just sit here and have a drink with my fuzzy little Zeus. At least I wouldn't be alone.

#

Waking up the sun was shining in across my face, hurting my eyes as I tried to open them. I could hear the alarm on the coffee marker go off, telling me it was time to get ready for work, and just from the splitting headache I was having just from the shadow of sunlight, it was going to be fun day at that.

Ignoring the coffee maker, I pulled myself onto my feet, and stumbling into the shower. Everything around me seemed foreign. Emily's coat hung by the door, telling me she came back to the house sometime during my drunken slumber. She didn't live here, but looking around the place you wouldn't know that. Her hand-woven quilt draped over the sofa, 8 pairs of shoes were by the door and if you looked in the room, the closet was filled with 75% of her clothes.

In this moment I didn't know how things had ended up here. Yes, we both knew this was a temporary thing. The sex, the sleepovers, everything to do with us was temporary but just from looking around at the apartment...she had made herself at home.

Pulling off the ratty t-shirt and joggers, I turned on the shower. I needed to get this disgusting feeling off of me. I shouldn't feel bad for dating while Cassie was off finding herself, but when she parked in that driveway it felt as though I had just been caught cheating. How do you cheat on someone you aren't dating? Is that even possible? Stepping into the shower I instantly leaned my head against the fiberglass, hoping the strangely cool material would ward off the headache.

Apparently, I wasn't going to be warranted a few minutes of alone time, because it wasn't even 5 minutes when I heard the door to the bathroom open. Turning my head, I could see the blonde-haired woman who I've shared my life with for the past year. I wanted to tell her to get lost, that she shouldn't be here but I couldn't...she did belong her. She's been by my side for the last 12 months and it'd just be wrong to just toss her out on her ass without even a conversation.