I'm Coming Home

Hoping You'll Come Back Someday

Cassandra

Driving back into town I could feel every bit of homesickness I had been feeling for the last three years just leave my body. It was like nothing had changed as if I hadn't spent the last three years 1800 km away from home. Everything in town was exactly the same. The High School still looked as rundown as it had been when I went there, the teachers that taught me were still driving their old cars, parked in their designated parking spots, and the courtyard was still packed full of students. While it wasn't me in that courtyard anymore, it looked and felt extremely familiar. Seeing everything that was oh so familiar to me, I got a feeling of peace.

I've been dying to come home since I had received my diploma in culinary arts since I was deemed chef material but I knew coming home right away would ruin any chances I had of becoming a great chef. So, I stayed out west, gained my red seal and a reputation for myself. When the opportunity to put my resume in to become sous chef back home at a local Egg and steakhouse came up, I couldn't pass it up, and thankfully, they liked my resume so much that I didn't really have to fight for the job. Everything happened so fast that I hardly had time to process as I packed up my tiny one-bedroom apartment. But today, as I drive through my hometown, seeing everything that made it home through clear eyes, I can't believe I ever left.

I left so many things behind here. I left my parents, my siblings, heck I even left my friends. I was in such a rush to leave home that I forgot what makes home...home. I forgot that I would have people to miss me. I ran from here; I was in such a rough place that no one questioned it until I was already settled into my own place and feeling better. That only lasted a week. After that all I wanted to do was come home...but I refused to prove my parents wrong. So, I stayed, but all I wanted to do was run back home to him. I promised him I would.

So as if I was on autopilot, I headed into the direction of his place. I had his address memorized from all the random letter and packages that I had sent and received from him. I was speeding through town, but it still felt like forever as I neared the duplex that he lived in. I was anxious, my hands were clammy and sticking to the steering wheel but I was on a mission. I wanted – no, I needed to see him. I needed to be able to touch him again.

As I neared the duplex, I could see his silver F-150 parked in the driveway, sparkling in the sun. It was 3 pm and while I was curious to see his truck there, I was more curious as to who owned the red civic parked next to it. I knew three years was a lot to expect someone to wait for you but at the same time, it wasn't like we hadn't spoken. We talked every night and morning for the last 1095 days. I came to almost a stop in front of the white building.

I wanted to pull in behind the truck, knock on the door but that car stopped me. Actually, the blonde who seemed to stand in the middle of the picture window is what stopped me. She was mad, it seemed as though she was yelling at whoever it was that was in the living room with her. While I wondered who it could be, my subconscious already knew. I stayed sat in the car, watching until suddenly I was caught. She had turned around and I recognized that face almost instantly. I could see her mouth some words and then she was gone.

Figuring that to be my cue to make my presence known, I pulled in behind the truck and put the car in park. I gave myself a few seconds before getting out as the woman I once called my best friend stepped out of the duplex. She looked nervous as she approached me. "Cass..." Her voice was gentle but a friendly reminder as to why I left. That gentle voice still held so much condescension and pity that I knew whatever was to follow wasn't going to be kind.

"Em," I gave her a tight-lipped smile as I swayed side to side, not sure where my place was anymore. She stood 10 feet away from me, holding a defensive stance, as if she was ready to protect her territory. Just like that I knew. I understood why she was here, so without even arguing with her or putting up a fight I left my defense just fall down.