Hard to Love: A Sons Of Anarchy Fanfic

Chapter 9

💀 Jax's POV 💀
Wednesday went by just like any other day. I finally made contact with Neeta and sure enough, here mother's insulin had gotten all fucked up and that's why she had to leave. I apologized for not answering when she called and let her know that I wasn't mad at all about her asking Savannah to keep the kids. Neeta was an excellent nanny and I know that I would never find another that would work with me like she did. She had been with the kids through all the rough years. She had seen and heard things that would have sent most people running for the fucking lives but Neeta had stayed here and stuck it out. Things were so much calmer now that the club was legit and didn't have to worry about who was going to try and kill us today. Don't get me wrong, there were still men out there who may wants our heads on a chopping block but we would handle that if the day came that they tried to seek their revenge.

At 2:30, I left the garage since things were slow and picked the kids up from school. Neeta had offered but I told her to take the day to be with her mother. I needed to spend some time with the boys anyway. As I drove towards Abel's school, I passed by Charming Heights. I couldn't help but wonder just what Savannah was doing at that very moment. Was she neck deep in accounts? Was she thinking about me? Was she thinking about last night? I thought about stopping in but I didn't have time and I wanted to give her the space she obviously needed. When she was ready to talk, she knew where I lived.

🍑 Savannah's POV 🍑
To say I was dragging today was a gross understatement. I only had about and hour left of work and I was seriously over the day. I had been irritable all day without even intending to. But that was to be expected after crying for god knows how long, no sleep, my hand aching from the punch, and running my usual eight miles. If I'm being honest, I was lucky to even be functioning on a halfway decent level of normalcy. I lost count of how many cups of coffee I had already drank but I currently found myself standing in front of the kcup machine waiting for another cup to brew.

I found it hard to concentrate on my work because I had so much caffeine in my system and so many thoughts running though my head. Last night just kept replaying in my head like it was on a continuous loop. I knew Jax had meant well when he said that he couldn't help but feel some sort of sympathy. I mean any normal person would. I had dealt with that all my life and had even prides myself in how I handled myself when people got sympathetic. What I wasn't prepared for was the conviction behind his words. He made me feel as if I could trust him. And as much as I wanted to, I didn't know if I could. I didn't know him well enough in two days time to decide if I could trust his word. He didn't seem like the type that would shoot me a line of bullshit but with my history, it was really hard for me to trust people. What I really needed to figure out is if I was ready to take a chance on him or to keep living thr life I was living.

I stood there thinking about the things I wanted out of life and the thing that I currently have. My possessions weren't much, but they were mine. The list of things I wanted out of life though was nearly a mile long. Some of them I knew I would never have, while other I knew I could have if I would let myself have them. And letting myself have them meant learning to trust someone other than myself.

"Another coffee?"

I turned at the sound of Abby's voice. I had been practically avoiding her all day because I knew she would have ten million questions when I told her I hadn't slept. And let's face it, she was basically my only friend so if I could talk to anyone about how I was feeling, it would be here.

"Yeah."

"You really shouldn't drink so much caffeine. It's makes you jittery and it messes with your heart."

"Well it's either caffeine or pass out on the floor."

"Long night?"

Deciding to get this conversation over with, I said "Yeah, Jax and I kinda had a fight."