What Hurts the Most

Chapter 5

They both let out the breath they were holding when she leaves again, tomatoes retrieved.

"That was close," Reyhan whispers, being careful not to be heard.

"Very close," Emir agrees. But he isn't talking about them nearly being caught. And he isn't moving. He suddenly is very aware of the position he has put them in, bodies pressed together from head to toe. This is the closest they've been in a long time and he doesn't know how to deal with the way his heart is about to burst from his chest.

Her heart is beating just as fast as his and when the tip of her tongue quickly darts out to wet her lips, he breaks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Reyhan pours water into a glass. At least, she tries to pour water into a glass. Her hands are shaking too hard to keep the pitcher steady.

He kissed me.

The thought keeps echoing in her head. But no matter how many times she says it, she's no closer to believing that it happened. Or that she didn't stop it. Actively participated in it, if she's remembering accurately. Although, that kiss left her brain scrambled. So she's not sure what she remembers. Except her frantic escape into her uncle's room, where she is now ... unsuccessfully getting water.

"Reyhan? Kızım?"

Reyhan jumps and squeaks out a little scream at Melike's greeting. The glass drops out of her hand and crashes on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Melike asks, pushing Reyhan aside. "Let me clean this up. You'll cut yourself."

"I'm sorry," Reyhan says. "You startled me."

Melike pauses in her sweeping to give Reyhan a look.

"I called you several times, but you were too distracted. Red cheeks. Goofy smile. Rubbing your lips," she teases. "What have you been doing, I wonder."

"Melike abla!" Reyhan says with a gasp, looking around to make sure they have privacy. She crosses the room and makes sure the door is closed just to be on the safe side. "Don't say things like that."

Melike just smiles and finishes cleaning the glass. Then she takes another glass from Hikmet's bedside table and fills it with water, giving it to Reyhan.

"Drink. Cool down. Then tell me what happened while I feed your uncle."

Reyhan just sighs. She wishes she could tell Melike what's going on. That kiss left her in turmoil and she doesn't know how much more of this she can take. Not being with Emir is suddenly very hard. It was tolerable when she thought he hated her, that hatred a physical barrier between them. But this kiss tore that wall down.

"I don't know where to begin," Reyhan tells her.

"How about with this ... you still love Emir." Melike states it as a fact rather than a question.

Reyhan reluctantly nods. She can't deny it.

"Then why did you divorce him? It clearly wasn't because you didn't love him."

Reyhan is silent for a long time, not knowing what to say.

"Did he do something to you?" Melike asks cautiously. "Did he hurt you? Did he ..."

"No!" Reyhan stops her, her eyes wide with shock at the very idea. "Emir would never!"

"Then why, Kızım? Why break him like this?"

Reyhan takes a deep breath, trying to hold in her tears. She knows the divorce hurt him. Confused him. But to hear Melike describe him as broken is more than Reyhan can take.