Fog of Love

Part 3 We need to Talk!

"Arre lado mat lado mat! And Pooja that post was straight from heart. I hope you liked it." Shaheer said. "Okay ab aap log bate karo .mai rakhta hu!" After saying bye he put off the call and now it was me and sakha.

"Aap kya kehte rehte ho..maine kitni bar kaha hai... there's nothing between us." I tried to make him understand.

"Straight From heart, Sakhi straight from heart. Hahaha! Acha to be honest I don't know why but I feel that you both have the spark and are meant to be."

"Oh shut up! Esa nahi hai!"

"I don't know muje to lagta hai..kuch miracle magic kuch to hoga dekhna tum." And then he ended the call as Riddhima bhabhi called him.

"Things which are meant to be will surely cross the paths..!" I remembered my own words which I said to Shaheer. Oh no!! What am I thinking. It's nothing. Sakha does have a effect on me.. infact everyone who listens to him.

Then I texted to Shaheer as I remembered his words "straight from heart" and typed "thank you Shaheer! Dil se bade wala thank you! And it was really so sweet of you to alter your comment settings. You are indeed a nice person."

He just smiled back. And I went to sleep smilingly.

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Shaheer's POV

I got what sakha was trying to hint...wait! Sakha? When did I start calling him that? Pooja ka asar?

Naah! Tongue slipped! Yes! I didn't!
And ofcourse she will be a great girlfriend..but not for me. I mean...we don't have things in common...I guess.. whatever! We are not meant to be. I am made for Shikha. Yes! Ruchika and Shaheer! That's where I belong.

It's night time and I have to pen down "my today".

"Dear Diary,

Shikha and Shaheer! That's where I belong? But is it? Do she believes the same? I mean since this lockdown she's fighting with me..or I think I'm giving her reasons to fight!
I don't know. She was sweet, caring, loving. She WAS! Now she has changed. She thinks more of her status and social appearance. But yaar I'm different. I am not like her. Umm...I will talk to her, surely she gonna understand. Because she loves me like I do.

Back to the day, I talked again to Pooja (after so many days) and sakha...umm Madhav! Yes we video called and he was trying to ship us. But it's nothing like that. We are just friends. That too, due to this lockdown. She is sweet and charming. I hope the best for her.

"Dheere dheere aap mere dil ke mehmaan ho gye..."
(Yup not a shayari this time and of course it's just because I was listening to this song today. No other reason!)

Good night"

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I was having my lunch and I opened my phone to confirm today's date..you know it's tough to keep a track record nowadays. Yes it's 14 June, but to my shock my phone buzzed and it was a notification reading " breaking : Sushant Singh Rajput committed Suicide. Found dead in his bedroom!"

I was shocked and my soul really trembled at the mere thought of it. I read details and tried to analyse what must he have gone through. And suddenly I realised I have people to call, to assure that they are happy.
I called my parents, my sisters, Shikha, Rohit and Saurav. I was shook within but heaved a sigh of relief on knowing that they all are safe, happy and sound, but deeply sad at the news. I placed the phone on bed as I felt good but then I suddenly dialled a number.

"Hello Pooja?"

"Haa?"

"Tum theek ho?"

"Haa. Or tum? Kuch hua Arjun?" Panchali asked out of shock.

"No..no! I mean you know that news and Sushant ..I mean it's too much. I was calling everyone..my special ones at least so as to ensure that all are safe and mentally good. You are alright? Right?"

"Yes! I'm ! Tum itna tensed mat ho!"

"Kese na hou? Kese.."

"Shant! Breathe in!" She said while cutting me in between.

"What?"

"Do as I say Shaheer! Breathe in! Breathe out!" And I did as she asked me to!

"Ab bas bilkul tension mat lo. God knows better than us. I hope Sushant lies in peace."

"Yeah! I hope the same. Thank you Pooja!"

"Thank you?"

"You provided me peace. Thank you!"

"Oh c'mon! Tumhe apne special ones me meri bhi yad aai.. I'm glad to know this."

"You are my friend."

"Of course! Okay now take rest and don't worry!"
I dozed off after cutting the call as I was so sad since afternoon, but now I can sleep peacefully. I woke up at 8 pm and made dinner. I felt lonely today, more isolated in my apartment for the first time ever. I called ammi again and she consoled me. And reminded of better things that are awaiting me in life.
I seriously felt what if Sushant had someone to rely on, in this glamorous Mumbai- the city of dreams. The city of dreams takes us away from reality and we never realise that we are ALONE in this dream...more surviving it than living it.

I felt better after talking to Pooja and ammi today and I think we all need to talk our hearts out. We surely need that . We all must. Before going to bed I decided to pen down again. 

"Dear Diary,

Sometimes I think how volatile we are! Or do we make our life volatile?
As an actor, I can tell that people see us in the lights, glamour, shine, always awesome to look at, stylish, with no problems, just the most famous, with stardom so incandescent. But There are many aspects of life. We need to look after all. Of course this stardom is so shiny that it makes everyone blind, it becomes pain in the eyes to look at reality.
We the actors, too suffer because we are humans. We are one of those common men, one among all, just with stars brighter in some areas of life. Anxiety, depression and lonliness is too, present in the world. These are not mere words. These are feelings, but I hope that my fans always chill, in every phase of life. I hope that they do not end up like dying or killing themselves.

I hope, when if someone reads you, my diary, then he or she must have just smiled a minute ago. And yeah, I really think that Sushant must have wanted to say "kabhi alvida na kehna", but all
He could was "Goodbyes". You know it's not his fault, its..like..the stars crossed like this only. Because obviously..ends are not always happy, some leaves you in tears too. He must have entertained us all enough, that's why it happened. He's nowhere now.  But he's in our hearts always, but I gonna Keep him in my memory.
Because it will surely be a sacred place, where he will remain untouched by the hardships of life, where he will be himself, not an actor, not a pretender. Just a mere human with some happiness after living a time being of soul numbing toil.
And yes, I hope that people set real heores as examples!
I pray that God embraces us all with a sharp memory, because Sushant didn't have one. You see..he forgot a dialogue from his own movie.

"Hum haar jeet, success failure mein itna ulajh gaye hai ... ki zindagi jeena bhool gaye hai ... zindagi mein agar kuch sabse zyada important hai ... toh woh hai khud zindagi"

Good night"

I went to my bed when Pooja dropped a message. It read : "to kyu na kuch batein karli jaaye, mai kya hu ye tum jaan jao, kis aag me jalte ho tum ye saanjha kar lia jaye..! ~ Pooja

Learning from the best Mr Sheikh!😉🤗"
I smiled and replied "woah! Great Miss Sharma!" She knows how to light up the mood.
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A/N : Yes I know that I promised for a much longer update but please bear with me guys. My hands were paining.
Moreover this diary note (related to ssr) was written by me just after his death. I really wanted it to share and spread the good word about mental health. I hope he gets justice.
Meanwhile tell me how's the chapter???