Live and Breathe Words ~ Wessa

Part 13- Source of Grief

“I know for a fact that you were one of the best things that ever happened to Will,” Tessa’s voice was filled with conviction as she spoke, and her eyes steeled as she met Jem’s gaze, who looked a little broken inside. 

“I’m sick Tessa,” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, “I’m dying, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Mist began to cloud her vision but she blinked back the tears for Jem’s sake, reaching across the desk to rest her hand on his shoulder, rubbing sympathetically. 

Her heart broke for Jem—all the time, the memories, the moments that he would never get to live out, all the dreams he would never be able to fulfill. Her heart broke for Will, who would lose not only his best friend, but the only person he had left, the person that kept him grounded, his other half. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. Sorry would never be enough to convey the heaviness in her heart. 

“I—It’s alright. It’s out of anyone’s control.”

A fit of coughing racked Jem’s body and Tessa ushered him over to an isolated part of the library, away from prying eyes. They sat down in two chairs facing each other, and Jem took a calming breath before continuing. 

“The thing is, I would embrace my remaining time on this earth. I would embrace the end of this life and the beginning of a new one, but I fear for Will. He loves with such a passion, but it always ends in a tragedy for him. Everyone he’s ever loved has been taken from him, and I promised him, I promised him, when I first met him, that I would never leave him. But even I failed him.”

His voice broke as he spoke, and his words were filled with such a raw sorrow, tears shamelessly dripping down his cheeks

“Jem, you don’t have to tell me this, I—”

“No, no,” he swiftly cut her off, his chin rising in defiance, “I do. For Will’s sake. He’s carried the weight of the world on his shoulders for too long.”

She nodded her head in understanding, and Jem continued, not bothering to wipe away the tears. 

“Will’s always been reserved, afraid to become too close or attached to anyone in fear that they'd leave him, or something would happen to them. But then he met you. You see, for him, the world is one big mass of feeling; everything he does, all his emotions, are done with such passion and intensity. He feels on such a deep level, but not in an emotional trainwreck sort of way, more of in a poetic and beautiful sense. He’s burning up from the inside out with simply the glory and joy of being alive. And he is catastrophically in love with you.”

Tessa’s eyes widened in shock as her brain processed his words, and her whole body seemed to stop functioning. Jem gave her a sad smile. 

“The way he lives, it’s both a blessing and a curse, especially for someone who seems to have the world against them. But when it came to you, he didn’t care. He didn’t care that all the odds were stacked against him. He didn’t care if it was impossible that you would ever love him back. He didn’t care that love always seemed to break his heart because with you, he was happy. For once in his life, the world felt right.”

There were tears silently streaming down her face at this point. She had no clue, all that Will had gone through, all that he was going through now with Jem. 

“As I feel myself deteriorate, my body slowly dying, I can’t help but notice Will dying alongside me. I don’t want him to be alone once I’m gone, because even now the grief and regret is destroying him. He’s been strong for too long,”

Tessa’s body was wracked with silent sobs, a lump lodging itself in her throat that prevented her from speaking. 

“I think it finally hit him. I think he woke up from that beautiful dream he was in, and realized he was in too deep, realized he loved you, loved you too much to bear losing you, or seeing anything ever happen to you. And so he let go.”

Jem hardly paused before continuing, catching the question in her eyes. 

“He told me, everything, yesterday. I knew something was wrong from the beginning, because I haven’t seen him look that heartbroken in a long, long time, but I finally got him to talk to me last night. He thought if you hated him it would make letting go easier, but losing you was like tearing out a part of himself.”

Although her mind was clouded with grief, Tessa remarked that it was a truly beautiful thing that someone like Will, who had only been shown despair, suffering, and loss by the world, could still be so vibrant, could still love with all his heart and live like there was no tomorrow. How he could still give his heart so fully and completely to those he loved, how he dedicated every fiber of his being to loving those people. She couldn’t believe she had been on the verge of letting him go, and how she could had been so oblivious to the realization that was staring her right in the face now. She loved him. It was as simple as that. The mere thought of him no longer being a part of her life brought her such grief, although they had met hardly a couple of weeks ago. 

Jem cleared his throat, snapping her back to reality. 

“I’m sorry if these answers burden you—that was not my intention—but I thought you deserved to know. It’s only right.”

There were still tear streaks imprinted on their cheeks, both pairs of eyes equally as puffy and red, but there was a calm in the air around them, a sense of serenity surrounding them like a bubble, now that the truth was laid out in the open—no more questions or secrets. A passion seized Tessa, and she closed the distance between her and Jem, wrapping him in a warm and comforting embrace. 

“Thank you, thank you for telling me Jem,” she murmured in his ear, “I swear, I’ll be there for both of you, whenever you need it.”

She pulled back, giving him a small, hopeful smile and he returned it; although the current situation seemed dark, a kernel of hope was alighted in the both of them that provided light, a beacon in the dark. 

Although her voice shook slightly, it was filled with strength, with hope, with confidence for a better future. 

“We’re going to figure this out. All of us. Together. But first, I have to find Will. Do you know where he is?”

Jem grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but grin back. He extended out a hand to her and she took it, and as he led her out of the library, Tessa resolved to fix things between her and Will. To finally make things right. 

A/N: I'm going to be out of town for a couple of days so the next chap might take a liiiiiiittle longer than usual to post, but not by much. Thank you so much to everyone that has stuck with this story, all the lovely support via votes and comments really means so, so much to me so thank you! <3