Vikings x Reader

Catboy! Ragnar would include...

- He also enjoys black coffee very much

- Okay, he'll drink anything bitter

- He'll excuse drinking black coffee at 3 am saying he's too sweet so he needs the bitterness for balance

- Occasionally, he'll slip some shrooms into the tea

- Which will quickly become the highlight of your week

- He thinks you don't know he does it

- But when you get home, he's super cuddly one second, and the next he'll be on the floor sprawled out, staring at the ceiling

- Then he'll sit in front of the fireplace and stare into it for a solid hour

- There's no fire

- Like he's fucking WILLING the fire into existence

- The man just wants his fire

- He likes it when you light candles

- Because it means he gets to do that thing where he swipes his finger close to the flame to get the little ash mark on it

- Floki taught him how to put the candle out with his fingers and he never blows out a candle after that

- Speaking of Floki, that's his best friend

- They're inseparable

- Ragnar really enjoys watching Floki drink from the sink

- It's the strangest thing for him, but it's Floki so he's entertained

- Most of the time, when Floki comes over, the two just sit upside down on the couch and talk about the first thing that comes to mind

- Whether it's one of Ragnar's sea monkeys or Floki's latest project

- It's entertaining to listen to them

- Because half of the time, you don't understand what they're saying

- They speak their native tongue just so you can't understand what they're saying

- Are they talking about world domination or the anchovies Floki had for breakfast?

- You'll never know

- But ignorance is bliss

- Ragnar is pretty fucking big

- But he can somehow manage to sneak up on you

- He doesn't even mean to do it at first

- He just wanted attention!

- But as soon as he catches on to how it startles you, he starts doing it on purpose

- You'll be in the kitchen doing the dishes and you'll see him standing by the doorway

- When you blink, he's gone

- And when you turn back to the dishes, he's standing next to you

- It's like those shitty Slenderman games everybody used to be terrified of back in like 2014, except it's just Ragnar

- Loves watching Spongebob

- I wish I could tell you why

- But he finds it so ridiculously funny

- If you change the channel on him he will lose his shit

- And by that I mean he will literally tackle you and wrestle the remote out of your hands

- Sometimes he'll make it sexual to annoy you or get you flustered enough for him to get his way

- Either way, it works every fucking time

- Ragnar has a terrible sleeping schedule

- It's both a blessing and a curse

- It means he can look over you at night

- But he'll be grumpy and sleepy in the morning

- He likes drinking on the nights he can't sleep

- He swears he can handle his alcohol

- But two drinks later at 4 am, he's going off about everything he's done and all his adventures

- Sometimes he'll act it all out with an umbrella and a pillow

- He tried using a fire poker once

- You almost lost an eye

- He's very loud when he's drunk

- He doesn't care it's 4 am

- He'll teach you all his battle chants

- God forbid the boys are sleeping over

- They'll wake up and join in

- They'll be pounding on the walls and stomping

- And try getting them to settle down

- Soon, you have 5 idiots singing Wardruna's Helvegen at the top of their lungs

- And you'd be lying if you said you wouldn't like to join in

- ANYWAY, after that he'll just sit down and talk to you until you both fall asleep on the couch

- Ragnar likes stealing your teddy coat

- A friend got it for you on your birthday, but she got the wrong size

- So it's real big on you

- Which means it's perfect on Ragnar

- He wears it because it's cozy

- And because it's really soft so it means he gets to rub his face against it

- Which ALSO means he gets to zap you

- Thanks static

[ gif creds to owner. thanks for reading! ]