Time of Your Life {A Million Girls #3}

🎶 Chapter 8

You couldn't keep this a secret from Billie anymore; even if the results came back that you were fine and cancer-free, he still had to know what was going on. "What is it, (Y/n)? What's on your mind?" Billie asked, worried. "Is it Amelia getting married to Connor? Is it-"

"No." You said, quietly, placing your head in your hands. "It's not that." You said, losing your breath slightly. "You're scaring me." He said, placing his hand on your back to comfort you. You brought up your courage to look at him properly. "I haven't been honest with you." You admitted. "There's something I need to tell you."

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Now, here you were. Billie was looking at you blankly. His mind was racing, thinking of every possible scenario that you could tell him. "I was at the doctor's office the other day when you were at the studio."

"Shit." He said, quietly. "Are you alright?" He asked as he was taken back to the night that you were rushed into hospital and later told that you had suffered from a miscarriage. His heart broke as he thought about going through pain like that again. You took his hands in yours and kissed him. Tears were already streaming down your face and you hadn't even told him yet. 

"I've been getting these pains in my chest recently as I did outside of Joey's room that night they came back. I didn't think anything of it at first but then my chest started going red and I-" You stopped yourself as you looked at Billie. His eyes were fixed on you. "Billie, I found a lump." Billie stayed silent, but a tear rolled down his face. He held onto you.

"Is it-? Do you have-?" He couldn't finish either of his sentences and you could see him trying to get his head around this whole thing. "No." You said. "I don't know yet, babe. The Doctor said that she would let me know when she got the results." For the next few minutes, you both stayed silent because, for the first time in your marriage, Billie had no advice to give you, nothing to say to make it better. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked, clearly hurt that you weren't able to tell him what was really going on. "I was scared." You admitted, standing up and placing yourself in front of him. "As I said, I didn't think anything of it at first it was stress or lack of sleep or something ridiculous like that.

"Do the kids know about this?" He asked as he watched your eyes widened at his question. 

"No." You said, quickly. "and until we get the results, we're not to tell them anything." You added, wanting to clear that up right there and then. "They've all got enough going on in their lives right now, and they're all too happy, to be dealing with something like this." You thought about them all and couldn't bear the thought of placing this burden on them. "Amelia's just got engaged, how can I tell her something like that? I can't and I won't! I can't ruin her happiness like that, it's bad enough that I've just ruined yours."

Billie looked shocked as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you. "Listen to me, you are important to me and you can tell me anything, anytime. Whether or not I am over the moon with happiness, or down in the dumps depressed. I am your husband, and you are my wife, and I will always be here for you, no matter what." He kissed you and held you in his arms for what felt like hours. "Do you know when you get the results?" He brought himself to ask you eventually. 

"No, she just said that she would ring me when she knew anything."

"Are you scared?" He asked.

"Absolutely terrified." You said, honestly. "I was terrified when I was in the Doctor's office, wearing no T-shirt." You let out a small laugh as Billie apologised to you. "What are you saying sorry for?"

"I'm just sorry that you had to go through that on your own." He said. "I won't lie though, I'm a little bit jealous of that Doctor." He said in an attempt to make you laugh; it worked. 

"You can still have your turn." You flirted as his eyes lit up. "Actually, you've had years of having your turn." You pointed out. 

"Who's counting?" He asked, leaning in to kiss you. "I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled, feeling safe and secure in his arms; like nothing was wrong. 

"How about we go upstairs and I show you how much I love you." He offered, making you smile. "If you feel comfortable giving the circumstances." He said, pointing to your chest.

"Let's do it." You smiled as you lifted you up and carried you upstairs, kissing you all the way. When you reached the bedroom, Billie placed you on the bed. You removed your t-shirt and allowed him to just stare at your chest. He traced his fingers over your breasts, you wanted him to do this. You wanted to be fully honest with him and if something was wrong, you wanted to go through it with him, just as you had gone through everything with him. "What do you think?" You asked out of the blue as he sat next to you. 

"I think, I still love you more and more every single day and I don't think that will ever change." You smiled, pulling him into a kiss. "Take your shirt off, so I fell less alone." You smiled. 

"With pleasure." He said, throwing his t-shirt across the room. You traced your fingers over his tattoos as though you were sketching every line on his body for the very first time. You reached the tattoo with your name and the date of your wedding. You traced it, knowing that no matter what the outcome, Billie was going to be by your side to get you through it all.

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*A/n* - I apologise for quite a chatty chapter. I just thought that it was an important one to make because of how transparent they are together.