I Don't Bite [Dean Winchester x Reader]

I Quit

The flames from John's funeral pyre were cooler than I expected; perhaps it was that my mind was focused on other things that made them feel cooler, rather than their usual scorching heat. Despite my racing thoughts, my eyes followed the towering flames and trailed over the thin sheet that covered John's body from wandering eyes. My shoulders were hunched, braced against the chilly night air with Calliope and Booth standing behind me, to either side.

Calliope relished in the chill. She much preferred colder weather to the intense heat of Alabama -- shifting was a nightmare back home, where even at night it was much too hot for her thick fur. Booth watched in remorse, hands buried deep in his pockets. He would have liked John if he had the time to get to know him. They came from similar backgrounds and similar ideals.

That night was one of the few times that I didn't cringe at the scent of burning flesh. Often, the stench would have me gagging and finding any way to get away from it, but that night... instead, I was so transfixed by the dancing flames and my own thoughts that I hardly noticed it.

The brothers stood opposite us on the other side of the pyre, Bobby not too far away. Both seemed to stare into the fire with glazed eyes, unsure if it was real. I winced, seeing Dean's face; he looked... emotionless like he was closed off and refusing to acknowledge what had happened. I recognized that look - I had that same glazed expression for months after Dennis's death, always expecting him to come home after a hard day's work. I knew that would never happen - I had spread his ashes myself, but that never stopped me from hoping.

Dean's eyes met mine from across the fire, cold and distant, unlike the warmth they usually held. The green of his irises was consumed by the raging, orange flames, turning them as brightly colored as my own when I shifted. It was a startling gaze that left me with a shiver down my spine, and still, I held it.

"Alpha," came Booth's voice and my eyes flickered to meet his muscled form. When I turned back to the fire, Dean's eyes were once again locked on the roaring pyre. "Y/N," he spoke again, attempting to get my attention. "We should be leaving soon, don't you think?"

I shook my head, eyes trailing over Dean's lean form as he spoke softly to Sam, never meeting his younger brother's gaze. "Not yet," I muttered, just loud enough for Booth to hear over the sweltering flames. "I need to make sure they're OK- or at least that they'll be OK."

Calliope hummed at my side, placing her dainty palm on my shoulder. Compared to the other members of the pack, her hands were soft and lacked the firm callouses that even Sasha wore with pride. "We can stay as long as you need," she reassured.

I frowned, eyes befalling the lapping flames and towering smoke rising high into the night sky. It wasn't about what I needed - it hadn't been for almost a year now. Everything revolved around my mess of a family, humans, and skinwalkers. What did I need?

"I need a break," I mused and turned from the fire. I needed time to myself, time to think about who I had become over the past several months. I wasn't anything like the reclusive girl I had been, the girl full of regrets and inhibitions. Calliope and Booth seemed to understand that as I pushed past them and strolled slowly towards Bobby's house.

The dusty floorboards creaked under my feet as I climbed the stairs languidly, hands buried deep in my pockets. I had learned not to trust the rickety railing and instead relied on my own balance to ascend the steep steps.

Bobby only had two spare bedrooms, which surprised me considering the size of his house. I half expected the bedrooms to be filled to the brim with books, or even potentially other hunting supplies. Contrary to what I had believed, the bedrooms were actually quite clean, aside from the thick layer of dust. They were well decorated, which made me think it wasn't Bobby who had furnished them. It seemed no one, not even him, had been in these rooms for a very long time.