The Collective

Eighteen

"Talk to me when you're eighteen". The simplest of phrases with the most soul crushing meaning. He'd been her sister's friend for as long as he could remember. A part of him wished that he could let go of the elder sister and be mad for the one who paid him the attention. He simply couldn't. There was something about the girl with the bright eyes and flare. He knew it seemed awful from the outside, being in love with the sister of who could be called his best friend. Well, that is if anyone really knew. He played it off as a joke, teasing in hopes of making her angry, but he truly wanted nothing more than her.

Every birthday from the time he was fifteen he'd shoot his shot. Every year she would smile and reply, "Talk to me when you're eighteen." With sad eyes, he would walk away, back to the party, and pretend to be alright.

When eighteen finally came around, she was gone. He couldn't ask the question during the beginning of summer pool party. She was off at college, had been for two years. No doubt sharing her time and warm smile with men that knew the world more than he.

It pained him when he would hear the phone calls to her family. Her sister always handing him the phone to speak to her as well. He wanted to ask over the phone if she would go out with him, but he never wanted the family to hear. He went with her small talk instead, playing the part of family friend like he knew he had to.

Christmas that year, she returned home. He felt his entire being light with that passion he'd held for her. She wasn't at the dinner he had been invited to. He was starting to feel like he should give up hope. Until, she waltzed it just after dinner. She apologized for not being there, the roads being awful kept her. Her parents shrugged it off. His feelings of hopelessness disappeared when she suggested he stay for the night.

"It's far too dangerous for you to drive home." She stated. Her parents agreed without hesitation. He nodded slowly. He wasn't about to argue with her or her mother over it. She settled onto the sofa next to him. Her sister snuggling into her side with a bright smile. He couldn't help but smile seeing the two wrapped in a warm embrace. He enjoyed seeing the love between them, how happy each of them were to see each other. They'd always been close. He supposed that was how he'd fallen for her in the first place. She was never far from her younger sister.

He sat in silence from then on, listening to the sisters and their parents chatting about the day. He knew he would be asked about his life eventually. As she spoke of her time at college, he felt himself getting warm. She told her family of the friends she had, the courses she was taking, and the new man that wanted her around. His warmth grew as she was asked if the new guy was one she cared for too. Her sister being the one leading the small interrogation.

"Is he like your boyfriend then?" Her sister inquired with a bright smile.

"Madigan." The elder sister puffed at her question.

"Lucienne." The youngest snipped back.

"You know, every time I hear your given names, it freaks me out." He broke his silence with a chuckle. They both glared at him. He put his hands up as a sign of backing down.

"Maddie, why do they always have to be my boyfriend? Why can't I just have friends that are men?"

"Well, Lucie, I think that you're lonelier than you let on." Maddie shot back easily. Lucie rolled her eyes at the statement. "Also I've seen some of these guys, they're hott!" Maddie nearly squealed. The revelation that the men Lucie spent her time with were extremely attractive caused the warmth in his body to return. Was this jealousy creeping up once again? He knew that it was.

"Oh stop it you two." Their mother cut in quickly, her timing perfect as always. "Why don't you tell us about what you've been doing, sweetheart." Mother smiled brightly at him. "You know, he's taken a year off of school like you did, Lucie." Her eyes shifted to the eldest daughter with a different kind of smile.

"Really?" She seemed genuinely surprised. "Why?"

He shrugged, "I didn't want to make a choice on classes before having done anything cool as an adult. Wanted a break before I was stuck to a book again."

"Good." Lucie's eyes showed happiness. "You shouldn't make life choices when you haven't lived." They agreed with an awkward type of silence before her father started to ask his plans for the rest of his time off.

It was late and he couldn't sleep. Staring out the window at the snow, the thoughts of Lucie plagued his brain more heavily than normal. She didn't rest her hand on his like she used to. She didn't speak to him much. There was something so different about the way she was around him. Maybe being 18 wasn't good enough anymore. Maybe the new man she was spending time with cut his chances all together. He didn't know what he would do without having been with her at least once. He would take just one kiss. Maybe just one kiss would kill the curiosity and attraction he felt.

"What's with the furrowed brow, E?" Lucie's soft voice brought him out of his own mind. He snapped his head around to see her standing just outside his room for the night. He shook his head and returned his gaze out the window. He couldn't tell her she was on his mind again. "Seriously, you look upset." She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

He sighed and caved a little, "Thinking of the what-ifs."

"What-ifs?" She cackled slightly. "You're too young for what-ifs."

"Yes, because you at the ripe age of twenty-one are more entitled to them." He snapped at her. Her laughter faded. She moved to his side, placing her hand on his back.

"Hey." She caressed his back like she would when they were kids. "What's wrong?" Her concerned tone made him deflate a little. "Talk to me." She moved her hand from his back to his hair, sweeping his dark curls away from his face.

"I don't know how anymore." The shame in his voice killed her. Another smirk appeared on her face, she had an idea.

"Don't you have something to say to me?" She asked him with a snicker. He looked at her with confusion. "Come on." She urged him. "Ask me." The tiniest of smiles appeared on his lips. This time he would ask differently. This time he would get some kind of peace.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice was soft but full of confidence. She nodded slowly. His bold choice of words instead of the usual way he'd ask made her say yes. Maybe he was becoming more of a man. "Out loud." He demanded.

"Yes." She whispered. He had definitely changed in the last year. Without another breath, he tugged her body against his. He placed his lips on hers with all of the passion he'd been saving.

She leaned against him, into his lips. He wound his arms around her waist, holding her the way he'd always wanted to. She wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing her body closer to his. Their hormones, instincts were taking over as he pushed her against the wall. His mouth devoured hers with an expertise he didn't know he possessed. Her body was softening against his. He was becoming dazed at the feel of her breasts against his chest, the way her legs parted slightly to let him just a little closer.

She broke the kiss with a giggle. He pushed her hair out of her eyes and gazed at her cackling face. He didn't know why she was laughing when her eyes were filled with something else. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Why are you laughing?" He panted, his body still grinding against hers gently. She didn't answer. She pulled his mouth back to hers, another passionate kiss consuming them like fire. She slowly pushed him back, separating their bodies. She broke the kiss once more. Her lips still touching his. "Come back to me when you're twenty-one." She then left him standing in the middle of the bedroom harder than ice and without breath.