Anxiety & Apathy: A Collection Of Poems

Suicide Bomber

Suicide Bomber

My mind is a terrorist,
My body is the weapon,
blowing up my own soil in the name of peace by violence.

Aiming to solve pain with pain,
Washing away blood with blood,
Covering up my scars with cuts.

Loving myself by hurting myself,
Feeding an illness by starving myself.
Losing myself to this war.

I am the oppressed,
and I am the oppressor,
The brainwashed
and the cult leader,

I looked into the mirror and drank the Kool-aid,
Trusted the one person I hate.

I scream about autonomy,
Nobody can touch my body!
Would never let another person hurt me.
Then I lie awake and self mutilate.

Looked inside my head and found hell,
Just darkness upon darkness, and myself.

I am what my nightmares are made of,
but this is no bad dream,
because I can't wake up,
and I cant escape me.

They tell me this is a sickness,
It's all in my head,
but isn't my mind where my consciousness is kept?

How do you cure a disease
when the medication is poison
and so is the vaccine?

How do you scream
when you've cut off your own tongue?
How do you breathe
when the blood has filled your lungs?

How do you pick up the pieces when you've blown yourself to pieces?

It's impossible to start a insurgence
when you're overseeing a genocide,
but can I even call it mass murder
when it's technically a suicide?

I know I wont survive if my savior is a fascist.
I know I wont be saved if my hero's the antagonist.

So I must break free of this dictatorship,
I've had the light all along, I just need to flick the switch.
Viva la revolution!
I am the cause, I am the symptom, I am the solution.