Prisoner

Twenty Nine

It didn't feel real as he walked through the prison halls for the second time that day. He couldn't really feel anything and he knew he was disassociated from reality because when he arrived to Harry's cell door, Louis couldn't remember anything about the walk there.

He was cold, his whole body was cold. The inside too. He felt empty and in some way as if his soul had just left. He felt like an abandoned building.

He didn't even really snap out of it when the door was opened and Harry was standing in front of him. He didn't snap out of it when Harry said his name either.

It took Harry shaking him a bit to really wake him up, and even then, Louis felt that apart of him was still gone. No, not just a part, all of him.

"Lou?"

"Hi," Louis says, looking up to Harry.

He wasn't crying. He didn't know why. He should've been. It made no sense for him not to be. He just...wasn't.

"Are you alright?" Harry asks.

Louis shakes his head and walks into the cell, Harry following behind him. "No."

"Yeah," Harry says, knowing there's not much he could say or do to fix anything. "Me either."

Louis doesn't say anything as he climbs onto Harry's bed and sits down. Harry follows suit and gets situated right next to Louis.

"I love you," Louis says quietly. "I love you so much. Harry if you asked me to marry you right now, I would say yes. I would throw everything away for you. I just wanted to say that. To let you know that I will always love you."

Louis finally starts to get a bit more choked up. He still doesn't shed a tear, despite everything he's feeling. Despite how he really really should be crying, he doesn't.

Harry takes Louis' hand in his and holds it tight. "I love you too. So much. I'm so happy I met you, Lou. I want to tell you too though...I'm scared, who wouldn't be? It's not natural for the human body to just accept death. Impossible, really. So I'm not saying I have, or that I'm at peace with it. I'm not. I haven't slept in three days, I've barely eaten, everything you'd expect. But when I think about you, and the last six months, all the bad goes away.

"I want you to be able to have closure. I don't know exactly how I can help with that, but it helps me at least, knowing that I'm telling you this. I've never been one to believe in like, fate and soulmates, but I am now...I guess what I'm saying is that I haven't accepted death physically, but I've accepted that with everything that happens, there's an end, but just because this is ours, doesn't mean everything is gone. The story is still there, it always will be. You can go back and read it as many times as you want, sure, it may not be as exciting as the first time, but it's there."

Once Harry finishes speaking, Louis takes a deep breath and collects his thoughts. It was hard hearing Harry talk so calmly about it. Not because he wanted Harry to not be calm, but because it meant that it was real. So real.

"Yeah...I guess I've never thought about that. In that way, I mean."

"It's um, it's hard to think about, and to talk about, but I need too," Harry says, also seeming to be a little choked up. "What I said didn't make much sense, but I think what I mean is that just because our story has a sad ending doesn't mean the story it's self is sad. Ours is happy, really."

Louis nods to himself, his eyes a bit watery, but still, he wasn't crying. He even had a small smile on his face. "It is. I can't think of a single moment where I wasn't happy being with you."

Harry looks at Louis and gives a warm smile. A genuine smile. "It'll be okay. Really, it will."

Louis squeezes Harry's hand that he was still holding. "I think so too."