sorry can't save me now

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(lyrics: listen before i go by billie eilish)

"Clem, they're announcing the theme of the Quarter Quell

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"Clem, they're announcing the theme of the Quarter Quell." Her mother said quietly, and she nodded, going downstairs to watch it with her parents. She still found it hard to be in a room with her father. He'd apologized and cried thousands of times, but his crime was just too big. She knew Johanna would be watching in the house right across from theirs. Clementine's eyes narrowed as she saw President Snow walk towards the podium. Clementine didn't sit on the couch with her parents, instead, she stood near the television.

"Ladies and Gentlemen; this is the seventy-fifth year of the Hunger Games. For each new generation, the memory of those who died in the uprising against the Capitol. The seventy-fifth anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion - we celebrate the third Quarter Quell." Clementine listened to the man she despised closely.

"As a reminder, that even the strongest can not overcome the power of the Capitol. On this, the third Quarter Quell games. The male and female tribute are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors in each district."

At first, Clementine's body went limp, like a rag doll: her father catching her before she could hit the floor. Then, realization kicked in. "Don't touch me!" She shouted. Her father frowned, letting out an exasperated: "I'm sorry!" She looked over to her mother, who was sitting on the couch, her head buried in her hands. The only living victors in 7 were Clementine and Johanna. What were they going to do? Which one of them would be damned to go back into the arena? She broke out in sobs, her small body overworking itself with how hard she was crying.

Clementine shook her head, bolting out of the house, and climbing her favorite tree. Her breaths were strangled, and as she sat at the top of her tree - the one her and Johanna always climbed when they wanted to escape from their nightmares and reality; she thought about anything and everything.

She wondered what would happen if she died in the arena, and her mother was left with just her father. It was no secret that their marriage had been failing since Bale's secret came out. She wondered how Copper would feel had he been alive. Her thoughts drifted to Finnick, the boy from District 4. Sure, she had never given him a real chance for a friendship - she hadn't with anybody, but the boy with the green eyes was always smiling. He always seemed to shine. Clementine didn't want to watch anyone die, most of all people she had come to know.

+++

Reaping day came that weekend, and Clementine wore a forest green dress with long sleeves. Her hair was in a bun, and she had purple bags under her eyes. Sugar made her introductions, while Johanna and Clementine stood on the stage with stone cold expressions.

"As there are no male victors alive here in 7, both tributes will be reaped out of the girl's bowl." Sugar says. She was not as bubbly she had been the first time Clementine had been reaped. Perhaps it was because she had grown to have a bond with the girl, who won and was promised safety for the rest of her life. What a load of shit that was. Of course, there were only two slips of paper in the bowl, but she had to pick them out per usual, at the Capitol's request.

"Our first tribute is...Clementine Wildflower." She reads the little slip of paper. Clementine takes a deep breath and takes a look at her parents before she steps next to Sugar. Johanna rolls her eyes and steps by Sugar, knowing her name was next. "Our next tribute is Johanna Mason." Sugar says. Johanna didn't look like she was about to cry. She just looked angry. Clementine wanted to say goodbye to her mother, but she was being pushed by peacekeepers. She didn't try to fight because she knew she'd get slapped in the face, or kicked to the floor. It was useless.

"I can walk to the train myself! Get your hands off me!" Clementine shouted at the peacekeeper who had a tight grip on her forearm. They threw the two girls into the train, not letting them say any goodbyes whatsoever. This time, Clementine didn't plan on coming back. She'd much rather Johanna or Finnick win - it beat going back to her miserable life.

Clementine and Johanna stayed silent the whole ride. She was feeling confused; part of her wanted to let go of all the hate for her dad before she died, but she still felt betrayed.

***

On the chariot ride in the Capitol, she didn't even try to look amused. She would play into Snow's games no longer. It seemed like Katniss and Peeta were going for the same facial expression that she and Johanna were wearing.

Back in the penthouse, they received an odd request. Plutarch Heavensbee, the head game maker, and Haymitch Abernathy, the drunk from 12 wanted to talk to the girls from 7. Clementine hadn't expected in the slightest, but a little group had formed, including Finnick. She saw Mags, both tributes from 6 and 3, amongst a few others, including Orchid.

Clementine listened closely as they admitted their plan. Sacrifice themselves for Katniss and Peeta - so she could become the Mockingjay and kill President Snow. If anyone could kill Snow, Clementine's best guess was Katniss. Clementine was the first to agree.

"I don't plan on making it out alive, anyway. But if I die, and that means Snow gets killed, then i'm in." Clementine said, shaking Haymitch and Plutarch's hands. Everyone else was quick to agree. After the group separated from the roof, Clementine decided to stay up there for a little bit.

"What did you mean, when you said you don't plan on making it out alive?" Finnick's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"My life is miserable, anyway. Might as well end it. The only person I truly have is Johanna, and if I were to live, that means she'd be dead. I would have nothing."

"Your parents?"

"My mom would move on. It would probably give her the push she needed to leave my dad. I can't even look him in the eyes."

"What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?" Clementine chuckled, tears prickling her eyes.

"Not in the way you think." She could tell Finnick wanted her to go on. Whatever, it's not like she'd ever see her dad again.

"Did you watch my games?"

"Couldn't take my eyes off you. I fell in love at a young age." Clementine rolled her eyes.

"Copper, he protected me, he traded his life for mine, even though he had a family and a girlfriend back home. I was a kid, I thought he was just being nice - which he was - Copper didn't have an mean bone in his body."

"What are you getting at?"

"My father approached Copper right after the reaping. He told him he'd kill his family and anyone he's ever loved if he didn't make sure I lived."

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