keep me » larry a.u.

twenty-four

Staring up at his mother, tears dripping down her face, Louis realises he has a responsibility. To not die. He can only imagine how much more of a mess she would be, and how it would effect his siblings, and Dan, not to mention how broken Harry would be.

"Are you okay, baby?" Jay asks, pressing her hand to his cheek. They just found out he needs another surgery. Another wedge resection for where the cancer spread to. He feels like he should care, but he doesn't. He's numb.

"We can do it July 17th," The doctor says gently. "That's the soonest we can do." Louis is quick to sit up a little. He struggles, but he manages.

"No," He says quickly. The doctor furrows her eyebrows. "No. I can't. That's Harry's due date," He's breathless from just that sentence. "Push it back."

"Louis," Jay says gently.

"We should get it done as soon as possible," The doctor says, frowning. "It's important we do it as soon as possible, Louis. You know how fast it's spreading."

"You said you'd find a way for me to be there for the birth, yeah?" Louis reminds, and the doctor sighs, but she nods. "I can't miss that. That's my kid. You have to push it back. Please."

"You can't do this, Louis," Jay pleads, looking up at the doctor. "He can't."

The doctor sighs again, tucking her hair behind her ear. "He's eighteen. It's his decision."

"I'm deciding to push it back," Louis says firmly. "Just, like, a week," He stops and looks up at his doctor. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful, ma'am, but you have to understand. That's my daughter, and if I don't make it, I want her to know that I was there when she was born."

The doctor's face softens. "I understand, hun," She assures after a moment, giving him a small smile. "How about July 24th? Would that be okay?"

"That's good," Louis smiles weakly. "Thank you."

"Of course," She then looks to Jay, nodding towards the corridor. Jay wipes the tears off her face and stands up out of her chair, following the doctor out into the corridor. Louis could give two shits what they're saying out there.

He looks out the big window. It's raining. He wonders if Harry is looking out a window and thinking of him; the same way Louis thinks of Harry every time it's raining.

In all honestly, Louis feels really guilty right now. Every time Harry comes to visit him, Louis can tell it's getting harder and harder for him. The commute, the stairs, watching him get weaker and weaker everyday. Louis wants to help him–wants to spring out of bed and hold doors open for him and help him sit down.

He can't, though. He can barely ever get out of bed. The only time he really does is to go to the washroom. That shit's so embarrassing, too–the way his pregnant boyfriend has to help him to the washroom, or sit up, or eat, sometimes.

When Jay comes back in the room, she's no longer crying. Louis can only hope the doctor had said something reassuring to her. Above pretty much everything, Louis just wants his Mum to be at peace.

"Don't tell Harry," Louis says to her. "I don't want him to feel bad or anything." Jay smiles weakly.

"I won't," She assures.

♛

Harry is standing outside of his own house for the first time in a long time.

He has to do something about this. He has to either get his stuff and ask Jay if he can move in, or he has to make peace with his mother. Neither is ideal.