Kelsey
"You're really not going to the party?" I asked Bigi as both of us sat on our usual spot in the cafeteria. It isn't really hard to find a spot in here since there aren't really much of students in Buckley. One good thing about studying in a private school. There are some bitchy students here and there but we ignore them since they're pretty irrelevant most of the time anyway. Plus, it's the way they want to be so let them live the way they want to and they don't bother other students anyway.
"And you're really not letting go of this topic." He said and I laughed at he said because ever since I've seen him early this morning, I haven't dropped the freaking topic except for when the teacher would enter the room.
"Oh come on, you gotta let loose once in a while." I said more of like a whine. Chloe and Gareth are still on the counter buying our lunch. Bigi and I don't really hang out that much with the band members except when all of us are in the music room and the upcoming party in Connor's house on Friday.
"Sometimes I wonder who's really younger between the two of us." He joked and I rolled my eyes at him. As if he was that young. He was just a couple of months younger than I am. A couple of months!
"Look, it's my first time too. You're not the only one." I said with pleading eyes.
If it was just me, it's fine I could go alone. Well the girls are coming so I'll be fine about that plus they wouldn't let us go without teasing us.
"I am no fun when it comes to parties Kelsey and for the nth time, I will not go." He said and I just nodded in defeat. No matter how much I tell him that I want to go with him, he just won't say yes and I give up. I give up almost at everything anyway.
"Oo na... Psh." He looked at me as if I had just spoken an alien language and I just did. Alien in a way that it's foreign.
The cheesy couple, as we both like to call them, came walking towards our table with our lunch and we all ate. The table was quiet as I enjoy food more when I become quiet. It was quiet except when the two would occasionally flirt with each other and trust me, if I wasn't taught about manners on the table I would've puked already.
The only thing that I liked about these two being cheesy couple is that no matter how much they flirt they never made out with each other at least in front of us.
"You both should date." Bigi and I shot daggers at Gareth while the latter burst out in laughter.
"I mean, you're both single and Kelsey looks like she likes you like that." The statement came with an 'ouch' after as I kick him under the table. Since when did I talk to him about liking Bigi? We barely even chat with each other-- is it Chloe? This b-
As if on cue, Chloe mouthed 'sorry' to me and I had my eyes widened. Maybe we talked about it during a sleepover once.
"Nah. Pass." Bigi said and we looked at him while laughing.
"I can't date a crybaby." And if my eyed wouldn't widen enough, it did and I smacked his head and he laughed. I knew it! He saw me yesterday! This boy!
Now they enjoy teasing me. Psh.
The lunch was done. Bigi walked me to my class once again since his classroom was just next to mine while Gareth walked Chloe to her class. Unlike in the cafeteria, we were both quiet just like how we always are.
During the whole Music Class I was quiet. Not because I was being slowly eaten by guilt just like how I always feel ever since that night but because I am embarrassed. When Charles and I sort of dated, he was the first one to have feelings or so I thought. Me liking someone first is something new to me.
It's been days. They are all teasing me because I like him. I wouldn't say I do... I would always deny it but deep inside me, I know there's something.
"I can't like him." I said to the girls while they're doing their makeup.
"Who?" Felicity asked while I slouch at the couch where I am sitting and watching them fix whatever they wanted to fix to their already beautiful faces. I'm done with those preparations just about minutes ago.
"Bigi? Why? He's a great guy." Candace said while putting a tint on her cheeks.
I sighed as I realize what I just muttered moments ago. That was stupid of me.
"He's a great guy... I know that. I wouldn't befriend him if he wasn't." I said and they all agreed to me.
I was never the person who would just hang out with these people just because they can do good things for my image. I've done that stupidity and I will never let myself be that kid anymore.
"Stop acting as if the feeling would kill you, Kelsey. It wouldn't hurt, not unless he doesn't like you back but that's kinda impossible considering how close you've gotten for the last couple of months since you moved." Chloe said as she finishes her hair.
But she's wrong. The feeling would kill me. Not soon but later on. That's the worst about this crazy condition that I have. It's that extreme fear of falling in love, let alone be that attached to someone. Liking is one of the process of it and I knew at some point there'd be something in me that would stop all of this, my anxiety would be that something.
I'm a messed up shit, I'm very well aware of that.
"Just enjoy the party, Kelsey." Felicity reminded me and we stepped inside the Connor's house.
We can't persuade Bigi to come to the party because he said he's not the party-type. And no, the boy didn't have any effect of my persuasion.
It was cool actually, the party I mean. I've never been to one and although I don't feel like coming, I still went because Connor directly invited me and I would feel bad if I say no to him. The problem is, even though I'm having fun I still feel like something's quite missing. And I shrugged the feeling off of me and try to enjoy the party.
Connor and the band members welcomed me officially and the crowd went wild as we perform some of our songs. We never mentioned who the song writer is since Candace said it was the band's secret weapon. I even laughed at how she put the words together but she just rolled her eyes at me.
Before the night ended, the boys were all wasted leaving us to ourselves. Some went home and some went upstairs to sleep. Some are too wasted to even leave the ground floor of the house. The group that played truth or dare, beer pong, and other games are all scattered on the floor.
"Let's get to Connor's room. The dude has a big-ass bed we can stay at!" Felicity slurred making me giggle. She had too much alcohol and it took us time to carry her to the bedroom she pointed.
"If anyone needs me, I'm in the toilet flushing my intestines!" Candace said and we all dropped on the bed trying to make space for everyone so we could all lay down on the bed. Felicity wasn't lying with the big-ass bed because there's still space for one more person to get inside here.
I didn't notice Candace get out of the bathroom because I already passed out due to the alcohol these people made me drink every now and then during the party.
