In the Dark

The Beginning

The first couple of months were everything I ever asked for. He listened to me, spent all of his free time with me, he worked full time and was making enough money to buy me a gold necklace, buy me food and spoil me. I would spend almost everyday at his house.

What I didn't know until a couple months in, was that he was always so happy because he would go into the bathroom where his bottle of vodka was and hw would drink. And hw drank so much before me that I couldn't even tell he was drunk when I was with him.

This is when the arguments started. I asked him to stop drinking around me. I didn't want to think I was going to have a future and relationship wth someone that was always drunk. But he would continue to drink without telling me. I had caught him throwing bottle after bottle away.  I caught him filling up the bottle with water so I couldn't tell how much he had drank. And I guess it wasn't so bad in the beginning because we were in the "honeymoon phase." As soon as it ended, his drunk ness went from him showing me attention to him screaming at me. Starting arguments over nothing. To him I was always right, but he didn't know that it was on fact him that had to be right. And I think he probed that by arguing with me over it.

It started off just little arguments. We'd sit in silence for a couple minutes then it'd be over. His dad popped pills (opioids) and drank a 6 pack at least a day, so him and his dad wouls constantly be fighting and screaming at each other. I should have left then.

Because this was just the beginning of a very long and toxic 2 year relationship.

He would get upset if I went out with friends— so I stopped.

He said if i didn't move in with him when Grade 12 m (last year of high-school) was over there was no point in continuing to date, and that he wanted to hurt himself because he couldn't sleep without me and needed me.

I lived 2 minutes down the street from him— and he made me come to his house before school and after. All day. Every. Single. Day.

Although he would at times get so drunk he'd fall asleep and i'd go home.

How did he always guilt me back? Why did I fall for it? Why couldn't I see the mess I was in?

I guess thats what happens when someones Father doesn't teach them how a man should treat them...

But maybe it was me. I was just too stupid and in love to see the pain I was in, and how stuck I would feel if I didn't get out.

I wish I never met him.