thoughts by Avril

Cynical Destiny

Oh destiny, you got me walking around old streets, old streets where I was happy, when I thought I had it all

Oh destiny, without even noticing you got me walking around old streets, old streets where he was happy with him, where they kissed, where they laughed.

Oh destiny, you got me walking around old streets with the boy I love, just to realize way too many things, where a lot of memories hit us both, and where I felt in the deep of my soul that, he hasn't moved on, his heart is still his, it's not mine, it's never been and now it never will.

So, why do you have to be so cruel? Why do you have to take me back to moments when I smiled, when I believed in people that didn't care about me, when I falsely had peace. And even though those moments represents nothing to me now, for him, those are the living memories of the time he spent with him, memories that he stills love

And now, after I realize that I have no real place in his heart, that my spot is shared with some other old lovers, what would I do? Is it okay if I cry? Is it okay if I want him to hug me, but, everytime he does, it just hurts, it hurts that I'm loving a person that's not mine, and that will never be, that I'm loving alone and that the boy I used to feel safe with, now became a pretender that lies everytime he breathes.