[Wednesday, March 31st, 2010 - 3:26 AM]
Haz: Lou, I need you to teach me how to be more like you.
Tommo: well, i think an important step one is to stop nerding out at any chance you get
Haz: I do not nerd out.
Tommo: i've had to relive year 10 science every time we talk
Haz: I loved year 10 science, we dissected a frog.
Haz: In case you were curious, I called mine Linda.
Tommo: course ya did
Haz: I'm deeply traumatized and live with severe guilt.
Tommo: oh, i bet you do
Haz: Everytime I see a frog I start crying.
Tommo: on brand
Haz: But did you know the frog's liver takes up the majority of its internal cavity?
Tommo: and there it is
Tommo: do you see what i mean now?
Haz: Yeah, yeah, I'm a nerd. Let's move on, this isn't even what I was asking about.
Haz: I want you to teach me how to be sassy like you.
Haz: I need people to respect me more.
Tommo: oh my god, oh my god
Tommo: i always knew this day would come but i didn't think it would be so soon
Tommo: i need to get me manual-
Tommo: jesus, i'm not prepared
Haz: I honestly didn't think you would be this excited.
Tommo: i'm ecstatic, hazza
Tommo: i've wanted to see you roast someone from the moment that we met
Tommo: i can die in peace now
Haz: Are you done fangirling yet? We have work to do.
Tommo: alright, alright, impatient. such a drama queen these days
Haz: Isn't that step one to becoming you?
Tommo: okay, i see what you're trying to do, but i'm still offended
Haz: I see that as a success then.
Tommo: step one - know your opponent
Tommo: i'm a queen, and i damn well know it. i'm not insulted in the slightest
Haz: Then why did you say you were offended?
Tommo: i felt bad
Tommo: regardless, you failed
Tommo: and here i was thinking that you were doing so well
Haz: Your mum's doing well.
Tommo: well that's not-
Tommo: if anything that had the opposite effect
Tommo: she's doing great i'll have you know
Haz: That's great!
Tommo: step two - there's always opportunity for a burn
Haz: Pfft, I can do that.
Tommo: go on then
Haz: Aren't you gonna give me a prompt or something?
Tommo: absolutely not
Tommo: you should always be loaded with a witty insult
Haz: Are you expired milk? Because you're the sour af.
Haz: Did I do it? I swore and everything!
Tommo: i don't even want to acknowledge the existence of that, let's just move on
Tommo: step three - punctuation is for losers
Haz: Lou, I think this one is impossible.
Tommo: let's do this in baby steps, alright?
Haz: I'll try.
Tommo: right then, lose the period
Haz: Okay this is fine
Tommo: why don't you call grandma down for dinner, h?
Haz: I know what you're doing and I don't like it
Haz: Let's eat grandma
Tommo: HARRY NO!
Haz: You're a twat
Tommo: weak insult for the record
Haz: I don't think I can do it anymore
Haz: It feels unnatural
Haz: I'm sorry, Lou.
Tommo: are you going to be able to do this the tommo way, or not?
Haz: Evidently not.
Tommo: this may just take years
Tommo is typing...
YOU ARE READING
Tommo is Typing
Short Storya witty story about two idiots who meet over the internet ft. dad jokes
