Vikings x Reader

Catboy! Ivar The Boneless would include...

- Ivar just won't let you fucking sleep

- He'll drag himself around the house at 4am being as loud as he possibly can, just to spite you

- Also, for your sake, don't fall asleep on your back

- Or you'll wake up with this creature crushing the hell outta you while you sleep

- Will wake you up if you sleep for too long

- He's a KING, for fuck's sake!

- Where's his breakfast, Y/N? Step up!

- Watches tv shows with you, but is super picky about what he watches

- The only thing he actually enjoys watching is that one video of the fish swimming around in the screen

- It's his favorite thing

- Ahem, anyway

- He knows a few tricks

- But will only do them if he's promised fish sticks afterward

- He's gotten pretty good at balancing little stacks of objects on his head

- He'll also help you with chores if it means he'll get his goddamned fish sticks

- Do NOT eat near him

- He will definitely try to steal something off your plate

- You could've sworn you had one last strip of bacon on your plate...

- Oh well

- For such a messy little bastard, he actually likes being clean

- He cooperates when you trim his nails and brush his hair

- Ivar pretends to hate it, but you know he likes it

- He hates it when you have to study for a test

- Because your attention is solely on the book in front of you, or your laptop

- So he'll wedge his head between you and your laptop and lie there with his head on your lap

- He will not move under any circumstances

- He likes it when you pet him, but will definitely bite you every 10 seconds

- He purrs real fucking loud

- It's his way of telling you that if you stop petting him, he'll make your life living hell for the next three hours

- Likes kisses

- Kiss him on the forehead or on the top of his head and he won't stop purring

- He kisses your cheek in return and it's the cutest thing

- 5 seconds later, he's nibbling on your finger like an asshole

- Like every cat, he has a strange love for boxes

- He's a pretty big boy, so he doesn't really fit in them

- But that won't stop him from trying

- If he can stick his head in it, he's good

- Give him 3 minutes and he'll come to you screaming because his head got stuck

- Speaking of messing around, he HATES laser dots

- But he can't keep himself from chasing them all around the house

- Even though he feels stupid about it

- He caught it once and didn't know what to do with himself afterward

- He just stared at the spot where the dot was for a solid hour

- Moving right on, Ivar brings you gifts!

- By gifts, I definitely mean little dead things

- He'll just leave them in front of you and sit there, waiting for your reaction

- If the gift gets him a little ear scratch, he's a happy boy

- If not, he'll scream about it for 10 minutes before finding something else to do

- He likes sitting by your window to taunt the neighbor's dog

- The poor dog will bark for hours on end, all while this smug bastard sits there with the biggest grin on his face

- Lastly, he gets cat hair everywhere

- He's a little embarrassed about it, but for the most part, he just owns it

- You teach him how to use a lint roller because the amount of cat hair he leaves around the house is astronomical

- Little bastard has to learn

- The end, you'll probably never see me again

- And if you somehow got this far, I'm sorry

[ gif creds to owner. sorry you had to read this with your own two eyes! ]