moon cycles and raven feathers [r. lupin]

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cath bitterly laughed at her friend.
"that's a bet i'd gladly take."

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once they arrived at hogwarts catherine and anita and everett went there separate ways, anita and everett to the ravenclaw common room and cath to find lila. in her search for her roommate though she stumbled across someone different.

remus lupin.

"hey! cath! how was break? you went back home, right?" the tall boy asked her, holding on to the leather shoulder strap of his messenger bag.
"yeah, it was good." she cringed at her words, she didn't want to be short with the boy but she also didn't want to talk to him at the moment, or at any moment. she really thought he had liked her, really genuinely liked her but seeing as he hadn't done anything about it she felt like she must've been wrong and to say that didn't bruise her ego just a bit would be a lie.

"oh, well that's good. see you around i guess?"
"yeah rem, see you around."

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"-and he said 'see you around i guess' like what does that even mean?" cath asked her roommate once she finally found her.
"i don't know, maybe that he'll see you around? you read too much into things."

she paused as her eyes got wide  but spoke again before cath could say anything in response .

"merlin, this is what i always sound like isn't it?" cath laughed at her friends sudden realization.
"pot meet kettle lila."

when the two girls, and eventually their other roommates reached their dorm gossip swirled the room. as they unpacked they picked up casual conversations about family and boys and the holidays and, to everyone but cath's chagrin, remus lupin.

"-and he's just..."
"get out!" chimed the other three girls who were sick of her love sick ramblings. she had never seemed to annoy her roommates as much as she was right now and it made her miss delia's thirst for information about all of her going on's.

'i wonder if he's like this with the boys?'

'probably not.'

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after being quite aggressively shoved out of her room by three girls at their wits ends catherine made her way into the common room where she heard the ramblings of two very familiar voices.

"just talk to her moony, be straightforward, that's what i do and it works out great!"
"yeah prongs, being straightforward really has worked out great with evans hasn't it, oh, wait..."
"shut up, pads would tell you the same thing, i bet you'd take advice from him..."

catherine watched in amusement as james pouted to remus but when the glasses wearing boy saw her though he quickly bolted in the other direction, leaving cath and remus alone.

well, as alone as they could be in a crowded gryfindor common room.

the two stood in silence for what felt like hours but what in reality must've only been about a minute.

remus was the first the break the silence, wiping the palms of his hands on the front of his pants before he did so.

"want to uh, go on a walk?" he asked hopefully.

"sure."

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the pair's 'walk' actually entailed them going down to black lake and just standing there, looking into each other's eyes, yet again waiting for the other to say something.

this time, cath was the first to speak.

"how do you feel about me?" she blurted out without thinking, "like really feel? how do you really feel about me? because you've been sending some real mixed messages, and you were so weird with me before we left-"
"well i-"
"-you can be honest with me, i just want to know."
"well i obviously like you cath, how couldn't i? but if you're asking if i fancy you, then i-" he took a deep breath, "i do. i really do."

cath let out a sigh, clearly relieved that she wasn't making a fool of herself.

"well perfect, you know you really should've said something earlier we could've-"
"we can't be together though."
that caught her off guard.
"what do you mean we can't be together?"
"we just can't?" he responded simply as if his answer made total sense.
"but why?"
"well i-"

remus paused, suddenly he seemed very unsure of himself and catherine was almost positive that she knew why.

"i can trust you, right?"
she nodded. "of course rem."
he smiled at her use of a nickname before dropping his voice and looking around to see if anyone else could hear him. when he decided that there was no one around who would have any chance of hearing him he spoke again.
"merlin, please don't say anything but-" he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again.

"i have this... thing." he said, his eyes clouded with emotion.
"a problem, if you will. i'm a...

werewolf."

"lycanthrope-" she corrected before continuing, "-and i know." a small smile danced on her lips.

"please don't te-" remus had already begun speaking before he really realized what she had said. "what do you mean you know?"

"i can be a little nosey." she responded simply

"well that's-"
"that still doesn't-" he sighed before trying to start for the third time, "i'm a monster." this time when he spoke there wasn't just emotion in his eyes, instead there were wells of hot tears threatening to fall. she leaned into the boy carefully, much as delia had with her, and wiped them off as soon as they dropped down, still leaving his skin slick and glistening.

"you're no monster rem. dramatic? yes, but a monster? no way."

a smile formed on both of their faces before remus' eyes went wide, before cath could ask him what was wrong he had quickly and roughly connected his lips to hers in a rushed display of passion. it took her a moment to realize what was happening but once she did she kissed him back, basking in the warm embrace of the tall boy she met on the hogwarts express all those months ago.

'great.'

'now i owe anita 5 galleons.'