#21Days

Day 18

3.15 am

We're just back from the Sippy Mansion. The entire trip to and from the house, Rohit hasn't spoken a word. I know he's hurt. He was very close to his Badi Ma. He always spoke fondly of her. Beyond that, I don't really know how much she mattered to him. Unlike me, Rohit chooses to keep everything about his life to himself. Coming to think of it, Rohit is as much of a stranger to me today as he was when we got married. I don't know much about him except for the usual things that one picks up about the other when they live together for that long.

I look at him, sitting on the couch, staring into blank space. I want to reach out to him, to assure him that I'm there for him. But I know that right now he needs to be left alone. I make my way into the kitchen and am back with two piping hot cups of hot chocolate. He looks up at me as I stretch my arms to hand him his mug. He looks a bit lost. Nevertheless, he reaches for the mug and takes it from my hand. I smile and am about to move away when he holds my hand and beckons me to sit next to him. 

We sit in silence for a while, the only movement, Rohit occasionally rubbing his hands against his mug. I've begun to understand the language of his silence. This one feels like pure agony. His eyes are devoid of any emotion, or not. I cannot tell. I fleetingly glance in his direction before picking up my mug to gulp some of the brown liquid. Although he's holding his mug in his hand, it hasn't made it to his lips.

I take another gulp of the liquid from my mug and clear my throat. The sound seems to have broken his reverie. He moves the mug towards his lips and takes a small sip. I sigh loudly. I know he wants to be left alone. And I'm almost scared I will ruin it with some observation or comment. So, I decide to get up and go to bed. Just as I place my mug on the coffee table, Rohit speaks.

"You know when I was a child, Mom and Dad didn't have much time for me. Dad was completely focused on creating the Sippy brand in the Healthcare space, and Mom, she was the wind beneath his wings. She went along with him wherever he went, attended, and hosted dinner parties, lobbied on his behalf. They were a great team. Ajit was little, around 4 but I, I was older, 10. I missed them, missed having them around, missed having someone pamper me."

I pick up my mug and gently place my hand on top of his, assuring him of my support. That is all the encouragement he needs to continue.

"Badi Ma somehow realized this without me telling anyone anything. She figured out I was lonely. She started spending time with me. She started reading me bedtime stories. She started sleeping with me in my room. She started coming to school to volunteer. She started asking the house-help to cook my favourite food. Where Mom and Dad left off, Badi Ma picked up."

He stops. I can hear his voice choking. I can imagine a little lost Rohit, whom Badi Ma showered with her love and care.

"She was a very special person," I say.

"No Sona, she was my mother. She was the person who raised me. I am who I am because of her."

He looks at me, his eyes red with unshed tears, threatening to spill out any time. "As an adult, I understand my parents did what they had to do, but as a child, Badi Ma saved me. I am Dr. Rohit Sippy because my Badi Ma believed in me."

I squeeze his hand. I don't know what to say.

He looks past me, at the Sukhmani Sippy Hospital building, that's visible from our living room.

"When I was in Med School, the Sippy Hospital Consortium was already a huge brand. As the elder son and heir to Naren Sippy's legacy, it should've been me who took over the Consortium. But I didn't want to. This hospital was special. It was named after my Badi Ma."