mama has been crying for me. i have sold myself to an incorrigible dealing that divorces all feeling from the lower part of my body. mama has been crying for me. countless times i have seen oceans and dams able to reclaim themselves back into their identity, yet it is i who cannot coax my body into filling itself, into identifying as what it once was. they tell me it is complicated, that in order to rebuild, a part of me had to die. mama has been crying for me. it is too quiet and too loud outside my skin and between its recesses, where it meets this feeling. hallucinations are quite the fixation when this out-of-body experience is a mere defence mechanism meant to convince me that i am dying when my body is being stolen, yet that which is painful, that which will absolve me, is the truest extent to living. mama has been crying for me. it is her tears that make it harder to look at myself and see restoration where there is deficiency. mama has been crying for me. please get her to stop.
