ER

thirty-nine

two hours later - august 30, 2020

after telling billie that i'd think about her offer, we went inside and decided to watch the office while she chowed down on a bag of takis.

i pull the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and chew on my bottom lip. my eyes had been glued to the screen, but my brain was somewhere else. that somewhere else being how i'd pull off doing chemo while on tour.

i looked up at the clock before letting out a soft sigh and climbing out off of the sofa.

"where are you going?" billie asks, her eyebrows furrowing as she looks up at me.

"i need to make a quick phone call," i tell her as i lean over the back of the couch, placing my lips against hers in a gentle peck.

she has other plans, however, as she pulls my face closer to hers. she cups my cheeks in her hands, the red residue of the takis still on her fingers, and deepens the kiss as quickly as she could.

"bil," i murmur against her lips, my breathing becoming labored and fast.

"baby, stay with me," she whispers into the kiss, her teeth catching my lip.

"its an important call," i mumble, my hands tangling into her hair slowly as she pulls my body over the sofa.

"and this is an important kiss," she grunts, gripping my hips as she pulls me to straddle her spread legs.

"it'll take five minutes," i say, reluctantly pulling away from her addicting kiss. "and then we can continue."

she lets out a childish whine, watching me as i stand from her lap. "please let this be the fastest five minutes ever."

"it will be," i murmur as i lean down to tug her bottom lip between my teeth teasingly. "i promise."

pulling away from her traveling hands, i make my way into the bathroom, pulling my phone out of my back pocket and locking the door.

i sit on the edge of the bathtub and scroll through my contacts, finding my oncologist's phone number. i tap on the contact, and then the little green phone button, before pressing the phone to my ear.

"doctor saratogan's office,"

"yes, hi, my name is dr. gwendolyn dené, and i need to speak to dr. saratogan - its urgent." i say softly, pinching my bottom lip between my index finger and thumb.

"please hold,"

my knee bounces quickly as anxiety starts to form in my chest.

two minutes later, i hear the familiar voice of the oncologist. "gwendolyn, are you alright?"

"i'm fine, i just have a question." i say quietly, my eyes trained on the door handle.

"hit me with it," she says.

"is it possible to switch my treatment from the IV to the pill?" i ask her in a mumble, facing away from the door just in case billie may be listening.

she lets out a deep sigh and a hum, "we can try it, but you'd need to be monitoring when switching so abruptly."

"my girlfriend asked me to travel with her for a few months," i say softly, shoving my hand through my hair roughly. "i don't want her to know about my treatments, but i want to spend the time that i have, with her."

"i understand," the doctor tells me. "if you come in tomorrow morning, we can see how your current treatment is working and go from there."

"that'd be great," i murmur, looking at the clump of loose hair in my hand. "what time?"