bittersweet | taekook

two

the slap across the cheek was the only thing that had momentarily caused a burst of pained emotions to course through jeongguk's body during the moment that he stood in front of his mother. his head had also turned from the impact and remained stuck to the side, eyes lowering. his mother got a perfect look of his side-profile, squinting her eyes once she noticed how skinny her son had gotten.

"why have i gotten another complaint about you skipping classes once again?" she inquired, grabbing jeongguk's chin to turn his head once more to face her. her nails had grown since the last time, seeing how they dug into his chin at an impeccable rate. once let go, the visible indents from the shape of the nail were rather prominent, yet temporary. "stupid, what did i tell you? just go to your lessons! get good grades! it's not hard, just listen to the teacher!"

ah- of course, school. it was a period of time for jeongguk to relax behind the buildings with the shadows glooming him; hiding him from the eyes of watchful predators that were called 'teachers.' jeongguk often skipped lessons with his classmate min yoongi, who shared almost no interest to the subjects as well. him and jeongguk were only acquaintances who shared cigarettes with one another.

upon meeting up, they would only exchange a basic greeting before placing the box of cigarettes in the middle – accompanying the lighter. they had bumped into one another by pure accident one day and from then on, they would simply sit in a comforting silence whilst flickering through the pages of their current books. there wasn't a single ounce of an awkward atmosphere, hence the two boys enjoyed skipping their classes with one another.

jumping back to reality.

his bag was currently slouched on his shoulder, almost falling off and barely hanging on – just like how jeongguk was hanging on for his life. of course, the teachers were going to contact his parents, but that was as expected. jeongguk wasn't able to change his grades anymore, which was the result of skipping lessons for three years now.

"mother, why are you still surprised? i told you months ago that i'm not going to change." jeongguk replied with that monotone tone of his, boring his eyes directly into the woman's. "had you payed attention to me when we were younger, i would've listened to you as well. it's too late-"

another harsh slap plummeted across his face as the result of the skin-to-skin contact with his mother. he never received any contact with her other than the beatings of embarrassment and shame – the woman could never boast about her child to her friends when they were out for their weekly cup of tea. she's always had to feed herself delusions of how her 'perfect son' would've behaved. then, she'd arrive home and target her son for being a 'failure'.

"it's not too late! open your eyes, jeongguk! you can still study for the college entrance exams that are coming up! just get a grip of yourself, stop being such a brat! a dumb smoker, a failure, a pain to the heart is everything that you've been throughout those years! there's still a chance for you to become normal. if you don't listen, then i'm going to have to kick you out."

ah, time to get a job. he thought. of course he was going to get kicked out one point or another due to his reckless behaviour. what difference will it make to his mother and father? all they'll do is just save up more money to spend on themselves.

jeongguk lowered his head in boredom, yet to his mother it seemed like he hung it low in shame. oh, how she wishes that was the case.

his mother sneered at him whilst crossing her arms, then her eyes trailed down to jeongguk's clothing. the dirty patches of stains were plastered at nearly every crevice; seeping into the threads, completely destroying the clothing. what a waste of money, once again.

"get yourself changed, you're an embarrassment to be walking around like that."

to jeongguk, those were empty words. all he did was hop in the shower for his daily wash before dumping the dirty clothing into the growing 'laundry' pile that was nestled in the corner of his room. his mother would come in to collect the laundry at one point during the week, ignoring the slump that is supposedly jeongguk's room.

well, he had never bothered to look nice. what was the point, considering his state?

opening his closet that contained the few lingering hoodies, jeongguk mindlessly threw it on; noticing how it was significantly warmer than the other pieces of clothing that would often flail about and let the majority of the heat escape due to the size being too large.

he momentarily glanced at himself in the mirror, noticing the deepening circles that recently appeared under his eyes; slightly standing out on his face as it contrasted his skin colour.

he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid staring at himself for any longer, then exited the room. a sweet aroma of a soup had coursed throughout the house; making his stomach rumble, yet he knew he wasn't going to be invited to dinner – he never was. if he got lucky, jeongguk would have leftovers for breakfast during the next day, but sometimes he didn't get any.

"time to get a job." he muttered to himself whilst slamming the door shut once he stepped outside, sighing at the wind. rain was approaching.