Heart and Soul [bxb]

Chapter Forty

Seth laughed, shrugging. "I guess." Shooting Carter a curious look, he rolled onto his side. "What about you and Johnny?" He asked, neutrally.

"What about us?"

"Take it your problems were solved. You look like you've been good lately."

Carter couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Yeah, we're good," he said. And then, on impulse, "I'd kinda like you to meet him actually."

"I have met him, Cart."

Carter shrugged, the action made awkward by his position. "You know of each other, but you don't really know each other," he said. "I think you'd really get along if you got a chance."

"You think or you wish?" Seth asked musingly.

"Both," Carter confessed. "Can you blame me for wanting my best friend to get along with my..."

"Your what?" Seth asked slowly, after Carter trailed off.

He bit down on his bottom lip and shrugged again.

"You haven't talked about it yet?"

"There's a lot we haven't about yet, to be honest," Carter muttered.

The corners of Seth's lips curled upward. "Sounds impossible. You spend every day after school with him."

Carter averted his eyes, blushing. That was true. He and Johnny had spent a lot of time in the library after school, like they used to. And a lot of time in Johnny's car, too. Or his house, that one time his parents and sister weren't there.

"Oh. Got it."

"It's not like that," Carter said, flustered.

"I don't need the details."

"There are no details," Carter insisted. "We haven't done that much."

Seth's smile betrayed his amusement. "You want to, though."

"I don't know what I want."

Seth frowned at that. "Really?" He didn't sound like he thought that to be plausible.

Carter gulped. "I just..." He bit down on his lip, looking down at his hands. "I do know what I want. But I don't think I know how to go through with it."

"Are we still talking about intimate stuff or is this deeper now? Because you kind of have a tendency to ramble, dude."

Carter huffed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "I know," he mumbled at his hands. "It's both."

Seth's eyes held a slightly entertained smile, even as he forced his lips to stay put.

"Do you get freaked out by the idea of being intimate with another guy?" His friend asked evenly, with only a touch of humor to his tone. "Because, if that's it, you might want to reconsider the whole gay thing, man."

That made Carter's head snap up and his heart sped up a beat inside his chest.

"Yeah, no—That's not it. Or, better yet, it's exactly that."

"I don't think those words go together like that," Seth said.

Carter let his head fall, resting his forehead on his forearm. "Sorry... I just..." He looked up again with a sigh. "I've been with girls all my life. And it was something I thought I knew how it worked. And I just can't believe I've been so off."

Seth's face fell back into a neutral expression, as though he understood what Carter meant, even though he was having such a hard time phrasing it.