Wallflower Ink

Chapter 20

I look up at Jace's face but he is staring ahead, his brows knit as if deep in thought. I let my smile fade without drawing his attention.

"You know, when I was a kid," he begins speaking, his voice sad and far away, "my folks were killed in a car crash. Drunk driver hit us head on. Killed my mom and dad instantly, Katie had to be hospitalized for a while, and I walked away with just a few minor cuts and bruises."

I frown and my heart speeds up a bit as I listen. Jace stops walking and I stop beside him.

"For a while, we had to live with my uncle, Reed Declan. He was our only living relative, so the state sent us to him. He wasn't a good man."

Jace's hand tightens on mine and I squeeze back gently. He clears his throat before continuing.

"A lot of bad things happened in that house before someone finally listened and got me and Katie out of there. But we spent a year in that hell, a year that's taken us all of our lives to forget."

"Why are you telling me this, Jace?" My voice is small in the face of this huge revelation, and as he draws a deep breath then lets it out slowly he turns to face me.

One side of his mouth tilts into a sad smile before he answers.

"I'm telling you because I want you to know I understand. Katie and I had nightmares like you wouldn't believe, still do every once in a while. We had to go through a lot of therapy to get even halfway straightened out. Katie had panic attacks a lot, and I had a few of them myself. I know what you're going through. I've been there, too."

I swallow at the lump forming in my throat and look away. When the back of his hand brushes against my cheek, I step back and pull my hand from his. Tears prick my eyes as I turn away.

"I have to go," I say softly, choking on a tumult of emotions.

"Merri."

His voice is pleading as I begin walking back toward the house, the first hot tear spilling down my cheek. I wipe it roughly away then walked faster. I can imagine him watching me fade in the moonlight, and the thought is nearly more than I can bear.

I can't do this, can't be this way with him. Just the idea he thinks he can trust me ... . And then I hear his footsteps behind me, catching up to me. I choke on a sob as his hand gently grips my arm and stops my retreat. He turns me slowly to face him, but I can't meet his eyes.

"Merri, what did I say? What did I do wrong?"

The pain in his voice is palpable and I shake my head against it, loosing another hot tear. He wipes it away and even in the low light of stars and moon I can see the trembling of his fingers.

"It's not ..." I swallow hard and take a ragged breath before I can say more. "I'm not who you think I am, Jace. I'm not a good person."

"I know who you are, Merri," he says softly, tilting my head up with a light touch beneath my chin. "I can see it in your eyes. You are a beautiful soul with far too much sadness weighing it down."

"That's not--"

Without warning, he dips his face to mine then presses a tender kiss to my lips. Full of a deep sadness of its own, it awakens something inside me, a niche in my heart that has never before been used or touched by anyone. And when his hand rises to tenderly cup my cheek I feel I can stay in this moment forever. But then the reality of what is happening painfully twists my insides and I jerk away.