sometimes we break

2

my body started to shiver , but i had come this far and going back , well not only was it out of the question because the forest scared me but I didn't need being a coward added on the list of names they used to call me .

So without a second thought i went deeper and deeper into the forest with the group of kids . only i and Clare were on third grade and this being her repeat year this made her older than me, the rest of the group , Clare's friends were all ahead , fifth,sixth and seven graders . Not that, that brought any sort of comfort to me because they were older but Clare's friends avoided me at all cost . If i didn't know better I'd think i had a disease they were afraid to get infected with it if they were ever to  have any contact with me .

The voices in my head threatened to get louder , as if they weren't already.

I guess i really didn't think things through till now . I forgot that I'd have to  swim and i had no idea of the first thing about paddling my feet inside water. The highest level of water i had ever encountered was on my waist when i was sitting down having a bath.

With each step i took , it felt like my fate was written on stone and all i had to do was keep walking towards the dangerous waters to see it through .

The soft breeze that passed by the green leafy trees that lined the small path to the dam felt like little hands on my body . They felt like they were pushing me forward and took away with it every wave of thought to conjuring enough energy and courage for me to voice out my objections againt our trip down that scary dam .

After a little while of nothing but the green of the forest , came the clearing that was as wide as the giant dam .
I don't know why this was called a dam because it was as big as a danm sea .

And listening to the voices in my head , i found they've gone quiet, they have given up and the fact was that i wasn't going to listen . And so with nothing holding me back i took in the dam and it's surroundings.

'oh my Rowie , you've been so quiet ' Clare said and with that she made all the pair of eyes that were journing with us stare incredulously at me .

well, way for putting me on the spot bestfriend . I felt like smacking my head against something hard, more like the rotten old tree buck that lay just after the clearing .

'oh its nothing friend' with a very sarcastic smile that I'm sure she didn't even notice because well my bestfrined was very ignorant . well but at least some of the eyes stopped looking at me and those that did moved forward towards the water .

'can you even swim Row? because i really don't want to worry about you in the water ' she casted me worried eyes and well i smiled broader to let her see that there was nothing to worry about , that i was perfectly fine .
'of cause i can , there's no need for you to worry about me' well that made her stop starring at me and she as well as the rest of the group once again started trailing down to the dam .

I followed , down here it was colder, murkier and smelled of algae and also another smell i didn't know what but it was sweety almost familiar and that was weird . After the clearing all you could see were long grass and thick weed that I'm sure had giant poisoners snakes that were restless because of all this movement we brought to their haven , but nobody really seemed to mind or even worry .

And a couple of feet from the dam were the human made small rock mountains that were set to prevent or reduce erosion so the dam was at least protected a little if at all . It didn't look much like rock mountains anymore though even if we called it that , i assume over the years it came to became a small weed mountains after being in contact with the earth .

I'm sure the snakes laid  their eggs there so climbing atop it would be total mandness . And crazily so i saw my uncle that was suppose to be in class seeing as this was his last year in high school , so he just had to have better grades if he really did want to go to college as he always reverd

And while my face most probably portrait that of shock his however was weird. His eyes zeroed in on me like he was trying to tell me something . I stood there for a while thinking he was going to come and force me to go home . well i don't know if it would've been called forcing because i was really hoping he would , but instead he took his gaze off of me and never made eye contact with me again .

i felt my heart fall a little , but just as it did i felt the comfort that it wasn't all bad, i mean if i ever got in trouble with the water at least he'd never let me drown . That made my heart settle at least a bit.

And so with the new found courage, i took off my clothes down to my pink panties and followed the rest of the group inside the water .
And surprisingly the water was warmer than I'd expected and once i was in , all the things i worried about on my way here they seemed so far away , like a memory from years ago and so i dived deeper and deeper still .

A chilling voice that sounded melodious but scratched like it hasn't been used in ages . I'm not sure in my ear or mind , but like a wisper it said
'Welcome home child, may you please stay longer this time '

Even with the please , this didn't sound like a plea.

And I understood why,
It was a comand.