The Way It Used to Be

54

When he left the room, Jack spoke again. "Beau?  You gonna let me stay tonight?"

I looked at Colton from where I stood, my back pressed against the wall.  His eyes were closed again.  I'd stood there, watching the doctor in silence, and I'd forgotten all about Jack's request.

"Jack, please," I whispered. 

I watched as Colt's eyes fluttered again.  "Beau?" he asked, looking around for me without moving his head.

"I'm right here," I answered. "Jack and I are trying to decide who's going to stay with you tonight."

"Y-you are, Beautiful," he answered, in the way he always did, as if it was fact. Sky was blue. Rain was wet. And I was staying.

"Colt," Jack started, "she's been here every night for over a month. You had your moment. She needs to sleep in a bed."

Colton struggled to find Jack until Jack moved into his line of vision. "She's been sleeping in that plastic chair every night. She barely eats."

Colton turned his eyes back to me, his brow furrowed again.

"I couldn't leave you," I whispered softly, staring back at him.

"Colton, come on, man, I'm your brother. Listen to me," Jack pleaded.

Colton gave the tiniest smile. A person who didn't know him would have missed it if they didn't know how his eyes lit up when he smiled. "You're telling me you want me to let you stay instead of my fiancée?"

I immediately blushed. The word was so strange. In a minute, we'd gone from nothing to engaged.

"Come here," Colton said, beckoning for Jack to bend down so he could whisper something. I backed away, giving them some space to talk, hoping that Colton would demand I stay the night.

When Jack backed away, he was rolling his eyes but smiling. "Anyone else but you, little brother, and I'd kick his ass for being so damn stubborn," he said. Then, he turned and planted a kiss to my temple. "You better call me if something changes," he said sternly, to which I nodded.

When he left, I noticed the quiet stillness of the ICU floor. It was the same as every night. Lights were being dimmed, nurses were walking with charts and clipboards, careful not to make any more noise than necessary.

Colton's eyes fluttered again. I could only imagine how exhausted his body was.

"You're not sleeping in that p-plastic chair again," he said softly, his eyes still closed.

"Try and stop me," I countered, a hint of playfulness in my voice.

"B-Beau Lorraine," he countered back, and I laughed.

"That's not going to work on me, and you know it," I responded. I was already dragging the chair across the floor, back to my usual spot.

"If you don't get some sleep," he continued, pausing to rest and take breaths, "I'm asking Jack to stay tomorrow."

"I'm going to get some—..." I started, but he interrupted.

"Sleep that's not in that chair," he interjected. "Then, Jack."  He didn't finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant. And I knew it was important to him.

"God, damn, you stubborn ass," I laughed, walking across the room to kiss his cheek. "I don't ever want to sleep without touching you again."

He took a deep breath before responding. "Kiss me." 

I bent carefully, standing on the tips of my toes to lean over the bed rail, and kissed his lips gently. I could feel his oxygen and feeding tube with my nose, and it made me nervous. Nervous that he'd slip back into unconsciousness if I wasn't touching him.

"Now go sit down. Cover up with that blanket," he demanded. "I'm not leaving you again."

I smiled at the last statement, always surprised at his ability to read my mind and say exactly what I needed to hear.

I backed away from him, then settled myself in the recliner. I covered up and tried to relax, but he fell asleep long before I did. I found myself watching his monitors and this rising and falling of his chest for hours.

When I finally drifted off, I didn't sleep well, and when I finally woke up and decided to stay awake, then sun was just beginning to rise.

And Colton's chest was still rising and falling steadily.