don't save me | ash a.u

stay together for the kids.

8 months later
6weeks

↠ Arabella's POV

Ashton has been on tour for about 8 months now, I haven't spoken to him in about 6 weeks. I miss him so much, but I can't deal with a long distance relationship.

For 3 weeks of the 6 weeks we didn't speak, I was in the hospital.

I've developed an anxiety disorder. I get panic attacks whenever I start thinking about the future.

I wanted to tell Ashton, but I was so scared of what would happen. He's surrounded by beautiful girls everyday.

Why would he bother with me?

I've been taking my medication regularly but it's so hard.

I haven't spoken to Samantha and Rachel in forever, they kept coming to house but I told them I didn't want to be bothered by them.

I just wish we could go back to simpler days.

-

Going to school is the worse thing ever. I just started going back, my mom doesn't want me to be homeschooled. I only started coming back because I need to "graduate on time".

Seeing Rach and Sam in the halls is the saddest thing. I just want to jump in their arms and tell them everything, but I can't. I miss them so much.

During the lunch period I sat in my car and ate my sandwich. As I was eating my phone starting ringing, it was Luke.

"Hello?" I asked rather hesitantly

"Hey! Arabella! I didn't think you were going to answer" Luke exclaimed with so much excitement,

I wanted to hang up but he continued on, "all of the guys miss you, mainly Ashton. He wants you to know that he loves you. Like a lot. He also wants to know why your not answering his calls, but he loves you so much"

"I love him too" I muttered out

"Then call him, we all want you two to be together just try to work it. Please belle?"

I felt myself crying. I can't hurt Ashton again, "I moved on"

I heard Luke shuffle through the phone, "I'm confuse, what are you trying to say?"

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for my next lie, "I've moved on from Ashton. I have a new boyfriend now, who doesn't just pack up his shit and leaves his girlfriend."

I hung up after speaking so bluntly to Luke, and for the rest of the period I just sat in my car crying.

-

After school I decided to just drive around this dim town. As I was driving, I passed Ashton apartment.

I went into the building and just started thinking of all our memories together.

As I went into his apartment, the only thing I could smell was him. I sat on his bed and just started crying.

I didn't know what to do. I want Ashton to know what happened, but I don't want him to judge me or not look at me the same way.

By the time I got home it was already 9pm. I walked into my living room to see my parents talking to my old therapist.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" I spat.

My parents looked as if I wasn't supposed to be home to see him, "He's here to talk to you again, every week after school. Actually you two can start right now" my mom said trying to keep a calm voice

"But I don't need a therapist"

My dad finally spoke up, "But you do need someone to talk to. You don't talk to Ashton, you've even stopped talking to Sam and Rachel"

↠ Therapy Session One

"How are you feeling Arabella?" Dr.Lewis asked as if he was the least bit interested

"Like shit"

"What kind of shit?" I looked up at him to see if he was being serious. He was.

"I don't know what kind of shit, just shit"

"Interesting"

"This whole thing is stupid, can I just got back to my room now?"

"Nope you still have 40 minutes left"

And in this moment I knew it was going to be a long night