my brothers best friend.
that's what you've always been.
you showed up in my living room one day and that was it.
but apparently i was 'off limits'
but you didn't listen, and we hid us, we hid the love we shared, the touches we shared, everything...
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🄰🄻🄻🄸🅂🄾🄽
falling | chapter forty-five
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I can't sleep.
I swear I want to cry, sleep, and eat all at once at the moment.
I sit here, lyin' awake in my bed, feeling as if I'm turning around in my head. What I would do to be dreaming instead. The one place where there is zero apprehension, and not one worry to be found.
I remember when sleep was something I dreaded to come against with. When I was a kid, I used to whine for hours every day when the sun began to fall. I had these nightmares, it wasn't like a 'I saw a werewolf!' and that was it. No, I felt as if the world was disintegrating at my fingertips, and I don't know- it just made me want to crawl into a corner and never open my eyes once. I used to just sit there, crying to myself with my knees pressed tightly against my chest- almost as a shield.
As I grew older, and the more hectic life became- my nightmares slipped away little by little. It was good. Really good. To finally be able to clutch of feeling of fulfillment in the morning, being able to make it through the day without snoozing off, or even the constant nerve wracking fear of the night to comes slumber.
Then came along the habit of overthinking, something any teen can agree is easily one of the worst things created. That's when the only thing that kept me up at night were the silent killer. Ones mind.
So, I sit here trying to clean the mess in my mind, wishing the answers that I'll find will come to me on time.
I don't see ahead, So that's why I can't sleep at the moment- and won't settle until I find peace, and a certain sense of stability.
Liam hasn't stop attempting every possible chance to get in contact with me. He calls and texts every second of the day, and I manage to ignore most of them, but god damnit-
After the wedding, Dan didn't help very much by just being himself. My mood itself was pretty bland, almost stunned after just realizing I was still in love with my ex.
Almost like a, shit! Maybe I miss you.
Anyways, he kept asking me the same questions, making sure I was alright. Then, he was the one to lend me his shoulder to rest on in the car, the one who carried me up to my room, the one who helped me slip off my heels. He was the one to put me to bed, and he was the one to kiss my forehead goodnight.
