Why did it have to be this way

Chapter 25

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Chapter 25

It felt like Chandler was gone forever as I sat there and waited, feeling helpless with every passing second. What if I really never was able to escape? Would he kill me if he knew this time? I bite my nails and tried to just calm down. The last thing we need is me going into a panic attack.

I heard the door click and open, Toby peeking his beautiful blue eyes at me. He motioned with his hands in a ‘come here’ motion as I walked over to him. I took his hand, chandler had found a coat for him by the looks of it. We walked down the same hall Chandler had brought me down not even an hour ago, slowly.

I started to feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as we drew closer to the front door.

I felt him before I saw him. He was here. He was angry. North moved so fast in front of us it looked almost impossible. Before I knew it he was behind me holding me to his chest, both hands on my hips and claws extended. I felt a rip of skin on each side of me but dared not move. He was clearly still taken over. He had turned me so were both facing Chandler who was holding Toby protectively behind him.

He kept growling at him, but Chandler never faltered in his protective stance.

“Let her go North, she’s bleeding, she needs help” Chandler tried to appeal to North’s Wolf. His wolf who wanted to take care of his mate.

North snarled a sound so vicious it just took over. Chandler went rigid for a second before holding Toby closer behind him. Toby had gone completely still, his eyes looked of fear as he looked at me. I tried to offer him a comforting smile, but that’d be a lie. We both might die and it’d be my fault.

“Mate was going to leave again!” North growled out. Tightening his hold. I shut my eyes and tried not to make a sound.

I reached for his hands covering them with mine. “North, North look at me” I told him, hoping he would just turn around. I was surprised when he released his grasp on me and I turned to face him still holding his half transformed hands.

“I promise right here and now that I will never EVER try to escape again… if you swear to me right here and now that you will never hurt Chandler and Toby”

His black eyes kept flashing a few times before returning to their original color. He nodded a few times and I forced a smile.

“Well boys it looks like we’re gonna be staying then”

Chandler looked livid and Toby looked so sad. He didn’t look frightened anymore at least. I couldn’t bare to see the fear in his eyes.

“How bout we send Toby and Chandler back to my room and we can talk about how we can make this work” I asked North.

I knew I was soothing his beast so I continued to talk in hopes that he would return to his original form.

It must have been working with every word he seemed to get just a little smaller. His claws retracting and his hair as well.

I was calming down as well as him. I’d made my bed, I’d sleep in it. This was the way it had to be. I was cursed to a life with a monster and he was cursed to be with me.

He was back to his normal form, his stretched clothes sagging around him.

When he’s calmed down enough we walked together to his room. I’d never been there before but damn was it in the farthest corner of this damn mansion.

I walked in slowly behind him he motioned to the door as I closed the door behind me.

“So…..” I mumbled. Why do I say to him?

He scares me but this is going to have to work if I want Toby and Chandler to be safe, I could almost feel like Toby was about to start talking and I just couldn’t put his progress in jeopardy.

He turned to look at me and I stared straight into his eyes, I studied his face, his features. His eyes had a bit of a slant in the middle ever so slight giving him a natural rougher resting face.

Just looking at his face remind me of last night and I feel as if a bat is flying around my stomach. I feel like throwing up. Those eyes that looks down on me as he raped me. As he didn’t stop even when my tears were falling onto his face and he used his hands to make me ride him. As he torn me open and my blood dripped down my legs.

I shutter as I remember and move back from him.

He looks concerned but still hasn’t said a word, he’s just looking at me.

“I don’t know what to say to you” He says quietly, almost shyly and it’s just not like what he’s shown me so far.

“I hurt you….” Whispers while looking down

“I tore you open, there was so much blood….” I look down at this point trying to just stop the flood of tears as I remember the pain, the pain that still throbs within me.

“I tried to stop! I couldn’t stop him… He took over me Sara! He took over! I swear I tried to stop him. He laugh at me as I tried” He looked at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at me. I wouldn’t have been able to see anyways, tears were pouring out of me and I couldn’t stop them. I could hear the sincerity in his voice but I didn’t want to see it in his eyes, I didn’t want to forgive him just yet. He hurt me and it’s too soon to forgive.

How could I forgive him for what he did to me? I’ve been warned before how to the powerful struggle with control, how they need their mates for control. More than once had a pack member come to me practically on their hands and knees begging me to formally accept him as my mate so that his wolf will begin to be less aggressive, but when I never see him how could I possibly do that.

He’s practically a stranger, a stranger who raped me.

I force myself to look into his eyes “Why couldn’t you stop him?” I ask him desperate for an answer to a night I’m sure will haunt my sleep until the day I die.

He seemed taken aback that I talked to him at all.

“Because… he lusts for you. For the moment we saw you he want to take you, but I fought him off. He loves you but I wasn’t ready. He wanted to woe you but I stopped him. I stopped him for you! But when you made us think you were ready, when you didn’t fight us he just took over. It didn’t even feel like him though it was like he was stronger and more evil but I know all he wanted was you. To possess you to be in your ever crevice and pore in your body. He chanted in my head about the importance of us having an offstring of being with his mate. After he was… finished with you he connected to you… in a way that wolfs do to ensure their mate holds the sperm that that pump into them. After he did this there is no way to disconnect but the bastard crawled his way back into me leaving me to hold you pass out body. I was still connected with you but with no way to make you any better. I wanted to feel your pain for you, I wanted to make sure that you were okay, but I didn’t know what to do… their was so much blood”

“Oh God Sara there was so much blood” he whimpered crying, falling on his knees in front of me. His hands held onto my waist as he sobbed against my abdomen.

I watched as the monster held me, do I forgive a man who could hurt me again even if it’s against his will? Or do I act and wait once more for my chance to leave?

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