Our love behind the door

WHAT IS LOVE?

Do you ever ask yourself what is love?
What does it mean to you?
How bad do you want it?
You see the are different kinds of love,i think but correct me if i am wrong... you see the is
*self love.
*romantical love.
*family love.
*friendship love.
So far this is my list but ever asked yourself which one ponits out the most, think about it would you choose friendship love over romantical love and also why would you do that for?
Q is a friend of mine and i am happy about that cause i always wanted that brown sugar love ever since i saw the movie, the way driia and that girl are close it is what everyone needs that brother love but in a friendship way.
D called me and he got up set that Q picked me up which i do not get why and what for??
I know i said " i love D" but if i ask myself if i am in love with him?
Look at twlight the way bella loves Edward it is breath taking and if you look at it no one ever cheated on each other which id perfect to look at, i some times think we are all blood suckers in a weird way and i wish we all can read other people minds like know what they are thinking all the time also how they feel about you that will be helpful.
People will not be heart broken or sad over love we will learn how to protect our emotions, i wish i knew how D feels about me for real and stop fooling me i mean i am the girl but he is being a bitch which is driving me crazy but does love die or it fades away from the fake emotions to the real one.
Ohhh.......i didn't tell you well Q left after the phone call and i was all alone thinking
They say time wait for no one but i pray it waits for me, but lets think about it if i get back together with D do you think i will trust him ever and not go crazy over things but fully trust him with my heart.
Do you think being in love some times slows you down as a person i mean i know, okay i am lying i do not know but i think relationships can be a full time job the emotions never dies i tell you for real if you love a person right......or we were programmed to think so?
Do you think women were programmed in to thinking that getting married, having children and taking care of them you are successful in life?
I mean i have a child and not married what am i?
I am not trying to leave but i have left but ever had that feeling that "what if?"feeling is it wrong to have it?
I do not want to wake up one day and hate myself for fighting to much but if you know ninety by jaden smith when he said
She said "Jaden you are my soulmate"
You only say that when you're lonely
Girl I'm suprised you even know me, ay
I'm not gon' fuck but we can kick it like we homies, ay
'Cause we just homies, baby

It isn't picture perfect
You could miss perfection in it because it is subtle

I feel like he was talking about me a whole lot cause i feel like he is my soulmate and i know it but life is not perfect right.
Well i fell asleep and my heart was heavy cause Pono was not here to cuddle me with her little body or should i say i cuddle her that baby girl is the only good thing i ever got from him i swear she is perfect but some times she will act like you or look like me do the point i am like " manh i did that".
But though i think he likes it when i am crazy about him only and when another guy wants ne he starts acting up as if he is crazy, but any way Monday popped up and Pono was coming home........my baby is coming and i can not wait, i miss my baby.
So the whole day i waited for him to bring her back and by 22:30 he brings her back like this dude is trying me, he knew that by that time my baby is sleeping and i won't enjoy her wild energy but as long as she is here so i should be happy about it.
He came in to put her to sleep but i told him to put her in my bed
D: why? You hate sleeping alone.
Me: yes.
D: okay, well i wanted to tell you that i broke up with summer.
Me: cool.
D: yep so were is your boyfriend?
Me: Q is a friend of mine, not a boyfriend.
D: so you single?
Me:nope, i am in a committed relationship with myself.
D: ohhh.....well let me warm you up at night.
Me: D get out, go home.
D:okay i am sorry, i didn't mean it like that.
Me: Devanter Hardon go home i need to sleep.
D: you sure about that?
Me: yes, bye.
The is a song that says " you are in love with some body else maybe i can be offer some help by getting on to me"
That is how i felt at this moment i mean he just broke up with Summer and out of no where he wants me, for what?
This guy told me he doesn't see me as his future wife or being near anything close to that but now he wants to warm me up at night.
I gave him a child so that is all he is getting out of me at this point i am not a toy or something he can use.